tell me yours
a story to tell
…tell me yours
……you wonder though when to surrender
………i see you hide behind
…………the way you are
……………just around the bend, you whisper
………………i’ll fly to you
© r.e.l. 1/19/11
Image “. . .” by mimi yoon
Posted for Poetry Potluck week 19 (rules, regulations, laws) on Jingle Poetry
This is a really beautiful piece. I liked your layout as well.
January 19, 2011 at 4:52 pm
thanks… i give the painting the credit
January 19, 2011 at 4:57 pm
Excellent. I love the last line and the painting is captured so well.
January 19, 2011 at 10:12 pm
me too on the painting… it truly changed my thinking brain into my artistic brain and then the words came from there… it truly tells a story (but different to each who views it, i’m sure). this is mine
January 20, 2011 at 7:42 am
fabulous poem. very beautifully crafted.
January 20, 2011 at 5:46 am
thank you… just playing around with a different creative look. i like how it turned out
January 20, 2011 at 7:40 am
Really loved the form, and the image you’ve created with your words here…
Surrender does come hard though.. no?
January 23, 2011 at 6:10 pm
it does.. it so enticing to want to hold on to what we love and think we need.. to a point where it smothers us. surrendering is much better
January 23, 2011 at 6:57 pm
I like the format, and i could almost hear you whispering this one
January 23, 2011 at 6:11 pm
i was
January 23, 2011 at 6:57 pm
Interesting layout! Like your writing Robin!
January 23, 2011 at 7:15 pm
thanks… something different…. it’s interesting how the different placement of words on a page change the vibe of it
January 23, 2011 at 7:39 pm
what a fun read.
lovely word play.
A++
January 23, 2011 at 7:35 pm
January 23, 2011 at 7:38 pm
Whispered words bring their own truths. Soft surrendering as you fly. Beautiful.
January 23, 2011 at 7:54 pm
it’s easier for people to whisper when they are vulnerable
January 23, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Well done Potluck contribution. Like the layout and do believe it adds to the poem. The artwork is inspirational. Fine choice.
January 23, 2011 at 8:25 pm
i agree.. i was playing around with different layout with words.. (getting bored with the usual). it speaks a different tone when the words are displayed as a staircase going downward.
January 23, 2011 at 8:34 pm
Both poems and images are breathtaking.
January 23, 2011 at 8:49 pm
thank you.. the artists get credit for the images (and redbubble) but they certainly inspired me
thanks for your words…
January 23, 2011 at 8:55 pm
and the story was told. beautiful
January 23, 2011 at 9:10 pm
yes, just around the bend…
January 23, 2011 at 9:12 pm
“I see you hide behind…the way you are”
What a mind-expanding line!
January 23, 2011 at 9:32 pm
hidden in vulnerability… waiting for safety.
January 24, 2011 at 7:09 am
simply wonderful..
i have added you to my blogroll as well….
keep writing…
January 24, 2011 at 1:10 am
thank you, glad you enjoy my writing… as the words flow out, you’ll get more now
January 24, 2011 at 7:13 am
lovely image and beautiful poem..I fly with you
January 24, 2011 at 5:51 am
flying is such a powerful metaphor…
yes, i love the painting. it inspired the words
January 24, 2011 at 7:15 am
Robin,
This is layered with so much meaning. Great work.
JP
http://tasithoughts.wordpress.com/2011/01/24/no-rings/
January 24, 2011 at 7:49 am
yes, i always try to write with layers of meaning. glad you noticed
January 24, 2011 at 11:35 am
Nice potluck dish, Robin! I really liked the part, “i see you hide behind… the way you are” – you see more than they’re showing.
January 24, 2011 at 8:54 am
yes, i see what others don’t let themselves see
nice catch…
January 24, 2011 at 11:42 am
Wow, a very soul-stirring poem, and the picture suits it perfectly. Thank you.
January 26, 2011 at 11:07 am
the best kind: soul-stirring
January 26, 2011 at 11:36 am
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