covered in moss
write with me
… as if i’m writing you
… as if i hear only your voice
your substance, your curves, your nuances, your eyes
as if for the first time
seeing me, perhaps
as a tiny particle of life in the ripple of a pond
it’s true, i remember the stars
when we first met
did you know that the cobble stones
on our path
each covered in moss
growing
alive
know that to provide direction
to you
is to cheat you of your trail of treasures in life?
… with your warm beaming clouds
listen to them
(. . .)
i do
© r.e.l. 5/27/12
Posted for Thursdays Poet Rally 6/6-6/13/12 on Hyde Park Poetry
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kenroome5 days ago
this is so personal…as if one was everything….
June 2, 2012 at 9:02 am
yes
June 2, 2012 at 9:02 am
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DarKarsean4 days ago
this is beautiful robin … tony
June 2, 2012 at 9:02 am
thank you….
and thanks for stopping by
June 2, 2012 at 9:02 am
Beautiful. Thanks for stopping by.
June 6, 2012 at 4:41 pm
thank you, glad you enjoyed
June 7, 2012 at 6:02 am
powerful longing expressed in short verse style.
well done.
happy rally.
June 6, 2012 at 11:41 pm
follow the path that is meant to be…
June 7, 2012 at 6:03 am
there’s something so dreamy about this…I do feel your words…well done : )
June 7, 2012 at 1:40 am
i’m glad.. yes, like a dream
June 7, 2012 at 6:04 am
A lovely reverie… (:
June 7, 2012 at 8:03 am
thanks
feels good to me too…
June 7, 2012 at 8:10 am
This poem give me a powerful sense of being one with the objects you cast your literary eye on – great stuff
June 9, 2012 at 4:08 am
awesome.. thanks for commenting
June 9, 2012 at 6:15 am
I could sense this path was meant to be and that nature led the course. Intensely beautiful piece!
June 13, 2012 at 5:16 am
yes meant to be
June 13, 2012 at 7:11 am
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TheWanderingBoo2 days ago
beautiful poetry
June 20, 2012 at 9:44 am
I could see myself walking in the woods down a cobblestone path and just beyond the trees I could see a sparkling pond and I wanted to so badly to jump in and cool off, but there were no short cuts to reach it and no one was there to give me directions. I had to learn the path or rather paths myself. There were many and finally I selected the right way and reach the pond; I reached my goal.
I think it was beautiful; it was every day life and all the decisions we have to make. Loved it. Thanks so much for sharing. Be blessed!
http://elizena-lovingmycreator.blogspot.com/2012/09/hearts-harvest.html
September 5, 2012 at 6:13 pm
i much appreciate the lengthy poetic response and description of your journey through the poem. thank you
-robin
September 5, 2012 at 7:53 pm
Its been some time since I had a chance to be entranced by your poetry. This was truly a beautiful piece, well crafted and with great meaning. This being said my favorite part was the opening two lines, the concept behind those two lines I found to be the profound part of this work. Well done.
September 5, 2012 at 10:55 pm
i know i’ve been absent lately from my posting… (always writing in my head though). your comments are an honor. thank you.
September 5, 2012 at 11:05 pm
write with me
… as if i’m writing you
… as if i hear only your voice
I loved these three lines and I imagined that the poem would go somewhere deeper with these three lines.
I think the writer often falls into the trap of evoking the cliches. I’m guilty of it too. I like the poem, don’t get me wrong, but maybe you could have a sequel or a prequel that starts in the same way.
Just a thought, not a criticism.
September 6, 2012 at 8:45 am
thanks for your thoughtful advice… well-taken. …
September 6, 2012 at 8:51 am
I am so touched in my heart by what is written but left unsaid in this piece. Your imagery is powerful and I love that it is full of bittersweet beauty that doesn’t end.
September 8, 2012 at 9:20 pm
it is what’s unsaid that means the most… thanks for your comment
September 8, 2012 at 9:54 pm
You have something very alive and deep going on in this poem. I see it and I feel it a little differently each time I read it.
Enjoy the Rally!
You can find my entry at
http://elainedanforth.wordpress.com/2012/09/08/fall-into-anticipation/
September 11, 2012 at 8:30 pm
thanks for your introspection. i always search for ways to bring up multiple meanings. glad you felt…
September 11, 2012 at 8:33 pm
very, very gentle and beautiful. wonderful writing
September 13, 2012 at 3:37 pm
thank you.. trying in this moment to tap into these words again. thanks for your comment
September 14, 2012 at 7:55 am