All I am is because of you. These wheels that turn are dedicated to your presence, as your eyes—across waves and time—have been on me.
You kept me honest, and kept me brave. I became someone because of you. Do you want to know how? I will tell you if you promise to walk by my side.
I want you to reknow me in the present. I am a person more flawed and more sensitive and consumed. In this you will truly know me and all that I have become. My experiences have become me.
Sometimes I sit and wait, always watching, never veering from the inner smile that makes up my insides and only sometimes shows on my face. In these moments, I am content and I want you to feel—actually, I know you do—my moments.
Maybe it’s the wind that captures me or leaves flying through the air, sometimes landing on my toes, that allow me to know that you know. It’s not as if you know it all, but you know when. Not exactly what, but that yes, you feel me in this moment. I know it is shared.
You know how to feel my moments.
writing inspired by The English Patient
[This is part seventeen in my Behind the eyes of a writer™ series]
© r.e.l. 11/11/13
Image source: http://thebestgardening.com/maple-seed-deception/
Featured on redbubble’s VaVoom
Featured on redbubble’s Feminine Intent
sometimes when it’s late and i know i’m asleep, i also know that the cathedrals of me are open.
and, during those times, when i’m actually not asleep, but awake, you are with me. you whisper.
i can’t even say ‘yes’ now to your offers because i don’t know how.
am i dreaming?
yes, you’re in my dream come true
i have conversations with you when you aren’t here
it’s ok, i’m always there
© r.e.l. 5/7/13
thank you is not the same
without you here
to stare into
to touch with my fingertips
seconds pass by loudly
as sand moves through time
enunciating each tick
impatiently, i allow my wandering senses
to embrace simple thoughts of you,
every memory relived
…a teardrop—of joy—on my pillow,
and i know i am reaching out
for your grasp
to taste you in a form
that exceeds words
yet you are an apparition
of time that happens,
but not here in my moment
please show me where you and now coexist
so that i know
because i have learned
how to stop time…
i will find you
interlaced with me
that in the midst of it all
you found time to save me
all i have i will give to you
i will give you
© r.e.l. 3/12/13
Featured in Redbubble’s Vibration in Art and Verse – VAVoom!
would the world spin
to a place
it hasn’t been
so we can understand…
what would you write?
© r.e.l. 10/3/12
posted for Thursday Poets Rally week 76 10/31/12-11/7/12 on Hyde Park
if you only can see
you would know
to what you thought
…but weren’t sure
© r.e.l. 9/8/11
image by s i m s h a
Posted on Poetry Picnic 9/11-9/18/11 on Gooseberry Garden
i k n e w
that i was
than i thought
© r.e.l. 8/24/11
Posted for Thursday Poets Rally 8/25-8/31/11 on Promising Poets’ Poetry Cafe
since the last time
place inside you
that you protect
© r.e.l. 5/4/11
posted for Thursday Poet’s Rally 5/5-5/11/11 on Jingle Poetry
you’re already there
who you are
i won’t turn anything on
can i just be me?
can’t you try to keep your soul
and fill your heart
but not take mine?
you mean let the ground speak
through my feet?
you’re irresistible to me
in ways that i cannot tell
find a way
to show me
© r.e.l. 2/8/11
featured in Imaginative Skulls on redbubble
posted for Poetry Potluck week 22 on Jingle Poetry
featured in Love Bytes on redbubble
tell me how you do it
as a mystery
i asked for long ago
i prefer no answer
because i know you
are not done yet
telling the truth
and are as honest
as the way
when i first knew
in that fine moment
that with you
how could you not
be a secret…
you sighed through the sky
and i heard you say that
i’m still here
you are priceless
© r.e.l. 2/2/11
image “Lamp” by dab
featured in The wonderful world of words on redbubble
Posted for Poetry Potluck week 21 (2/6-2/12/11)-Aims, Goals, Ambitions on Jingle Poetry
and you are mine
where are you now
in this moment
through misty time
with a fire not forgotten?
you say, don’t rush it
but stay on the edge:
to you i respond, i believe you
to open the door
if ever so slightly
i am here
and i knew you
i knew you were coming
© r.e.l. 1/28/11
posted for Poetry Potluck week 20: Peace, Relaxation, Spirituality on Jingle Poetry
you who have answers… or do you call them reasons…
reasons with questions that ask me do you always speak to me in colors that keep their beauty? through tears in paper that beg to know me?
through words, half spoken, half written, half heard but always known…
like the pages of time
i ask myself now, who am i?
but you know better, so i flip through the pages
to find you, to find me, to find the other half of me..
© r.e.l. 1/12/11
Featured in Speaking Out on redbubble
Posted for Poetry Potluck week 18 (1/16-1/22/11) Languages, Signs and Symbols on Jingle Poetry
Received The Sunshine Award from Jingle Poetry
Do you often speak internally to another person as if you have direct access to each other’s thoughts? Are you fueled by the language that speaks to you inside your mind? Is this dialog a way for you to make things right simply within your mind with certain people?
It is easy to speak the secrets of your soul when you speak to yourself. First, your heart needs to be open so that you are able to feel the truth of what you really feel.
You have a story to tell. You can read it, listen to it, and live in it as you would your favorite book.
You have many channels to your heart. The trick is to find yours–the ones that undeniably open every time.
Find the universal presence, spirit or love that resonates most with you and feel it hold you like a warm blanket. Then speak to it. Let it tell you, as a mirror, what you have to say.
You might hear questions such as “Why are you mad at me?” , “What did I do wrong?” and “Why do you love me?”
If you visit your child self, you might find a version of you looking back as if she/he has known you all your life (it’s true), asking you if you ever pay attention to her/him? She/He might whisper a secret to you that you have never heard.
You are not crazy. You have a lot to say. Just listen with open ears. Be still and silent… and the messages are more clear.
Listen to what your internal dialogs tell you. You could discover the unknown you’ve been search for all your life inside you. It could change your life…
© r.e.l. 12/17/10
aloof to the subtle
you wonder who
these words are for now
without seeing that
am a mere mystery drawn to
attract the precious inside…
© r.e.l. 12/1/10
**this post is for Poetry Potluck Week 16 on Jingle Poetry
Received The Prolific Blogger Award from Jingle Poetry
© r.e.l. 12/1/10
don’t you hear the answers now?
as they quietly become one with the search
for what is touching you?
you are beautiful
everything is alive
in different forms
watch time stand still with me. ok?
help me to let go and to become one with the mystery.
© r.e.l. 11/26/10
the beauty of solitude.
finding your soul.
the answers are coming.
just lie here.
you will know what to do.. soon.
© r.e.l. 10/24/10
photo by Ricky Tran
Yoga is a great place to work on this. Some yoga classes are all about moving fluidly with your watery nature, and like a dance you find your way to a place of balance. This feels great and can also help us flow better with life, learning to move with what we are dealt and become one with it.
Life, however, deals us chaos and challenge sometimes. A challenging yoga class can help you mimic this challenge and give you the chance to relax into it and come out ahead of the game with your head on your shoulders.
A serious Ashtanga yoga class can be a place to find stillness and calm. When the teacher instructs with their voice or their rhythm to be serious, can you allow yourself to find softness in the strength? This is important, especially in your neck and trapezius muscles that support your neck — a common place to hold tension. Can you find the perfect balance between expansion and contraction of your muscles so that the end result is soft and still? If you cannot, your yoga could be harming you.
Can you find this perfect balance in your mind? In your spirit? It takes a lot of patience to traverse your oceans of time…
Now, let’s talk about other activities such as surfing. Surfing requires a lot of focus on paddling and learning how to ride nature’s gem: the ocean. She is pure fluid. Can you find the strength in your muscles to protect you, fuel you, and help you get the most enjoyment possible, while still remaining soft and fluid, especially in the back of your neck?
What about sitting at your computer doing a simple physical act of typing, while heavily and emotionally involved in your topic. Are you able to sit in balance? What if you are in the physical presence of a person who makes you feel insane? Are you able to stay balanced, soft and supple?
Are you able to take a step back and feel your tension and then remember that the key lies in softening, not in tension that only feeds anger? It is easier said than done. But eventually it can be a natural response.
Life is a journey. Yoga and other mindful activities can be a container for this journey. Having said that, your yoga practice can be a spiritual/psyche container while you are on your mat, and it can be a phenomenal experience at that! But ultimately, you CAN take your yoga into your life and really live it and be real with it……
Be real. It is the answer. Learn to live your life in stillness, despite chaos.
silence is a source of great strength
~ Lao Tzu ~
© r.e.l. 9/15/10
Do you wake in the morning and tell yourself that today will be the day that you will really take your health to another level? One idea to ponder is why you would wait. Any moment can be a time to set your intention. You might wait because you are too stressed at the idea of changing.
A healthy life makes you feel great but activities that drive our personalities can interfere with health, some of which feed addictive behaviors, stress, overindulgence or even laziness. Although we all mean well and fully intend to do what our heart tells us to do, is following every inclination at every moment actually following your heart and acting with your best health in mind?
There are many different facets included in health. Those that require motivation for some of you such as diet, exercise and mind-calming activities are part of it, but if you are stressed about the plan you have for yourself or the goal you wish to achieve, then maybe you are going about it in the wrong way for you.
If your plan is to drastically cut out all of the poison in your life all at once, and trade it for regimented goodness, and this makes you crazy in your mind, then perhaps there is a better solution for you.
We are talking about your body, mind, heart and spirit. A plan for health needs to include each or else a part of you will attack the plan, so to say, and never start, or fulfill a part of it while another part becomes detrimental to your health.
Stress can eat away at your insides and definitely shows on the outside, so you can’t hide from it and you can’t hide it from others. What is most important is your internal appearance, which if nurtured, reflects to your whole being.
How about starting out slowly to come to terms with what will truly work for you. Spend a day alone dedicated completely to yourself simply to form your plan.
- Drink a lot of water to hydrate and cleanse your system removing toxins.
- Alkalinize a stressed body by nurturing yourself with foods that will increase your acidic pH such as lemon in your water, avocado, grapefruit and most greens to name a few. This will leave you with more vibrancy and mental clarity.
- Try to move slowly through your day paying attention to your feet on the ground as you move — preferably barefooted.
- Yoga, pranayama breathing, meditation and music can assist you greatly in your effort.
- Go for a walk along the beach and listen to the ocean waves soothe your soul and perhaps give you answers.
Slowly without trying you will find yourself formulating the formula for your stress free life. Keep a journal handy and write down whatever inspires you. If you’re lucky you’ll end the day with a wise mantra, a list or even a heart-opening poem. Without even knowing it you’ll probably feel a connection with your spirit and life force.
At this point, you will know what you need to do, and will do it with ease in a way which supports your life customized to you.
One final hint: don’t tell anyone your grand plan. You are doing this for yourself, not for anyone else :) Others will notice the new you emanating from the old you in no time…
© r.e.l. 7/10/10
outside the river of time…
so do i
passing through the veil
to this place in my heart
a journey through
before finding the sun…
in me there is magic to this life
to realize the answers
because love survives
as the one
who will find the way
© r.e.l. 7/4/10
Sometimes I feel like I am scattered in too many places, with too many activities and endeavors in my life. Every day is different and I wonder if I have a lack of clarity on where I’m headed.
When I remove the comparison to others, which is a necessary and healthy avenue to take, I realize the answer. I am fully balanced in my life.
A mother, a writer, a friend, a yogini, a spiritual seeker, a dreamer, a lover, a hiker, a surfer, an inspiration, a teacher, a graduate student, a music lover, a traveler, an explorer, a mystic, an artist, a silent loner, a social butterfly, a fast mover, a slow mover….forever enchanted. The list goes on the more I think.
It’s all about balance.
I am on one path but have many tributaries in my river of life… Each day I wake and decide in the moment which branch, like a root, to follow. This grounds me into myself.
© r.e.l. 7/4/10
the signs never cease
to tell me
still you are here.
i want you to tell me though
that you still want me here
because you are lost now
and i feel it.
do you want me to stand
in the fire with you
and be the moon that shines
on your path?
your path now is like
an answer for me
even as you take
the wrong path
to find the right
where you know who you are
i am done with our other journey
where you close
expecting me to open you.
© r.e.l. 7/3/10
“I know you think you understand what I said, but what you don’t understand is what I said is not what I mean.”
For some reason I feel the two have relation in what I’m trying to say to myself in this moment.
This bridge encapsulates a journey into the unknown somehow. To walk out onto this bridge into the fog along a treacherous cliff along old cobblestone seems precarious to say the least.
Yet, it draws me in. If I were faced with this bridge in this moment, I would surely put one step in front of the other and venture out onto it.
It metaphorically speaks to the wish to know more about the unknown, what I actually feel, and what loved ones actually mean behind their words. We can find it difficult to put our thoughts together into words sometimes. It is in this difficulty that our unsure words simply open up more questions and more uncertainty, as if the attempt to communicate with another takes the lid off of their secret bottle where they live.
It is true within our own selves as well. In a strange way I feel that the way to find out the true meaning of what I am trying to say right now to myself can best be found by walking across this bridge in the mist. If I sit out on that point, I think I will find the answer.
© r.e.l. 6/25/10
in the space absent of you
i have more power to give.
your answer to life was me
all questions answered
since the first day i came
into your heart
and i in you
you are a resonance
of my perfect heart
you looked after me like a brother
a best friend.
i find now
that in letting go of something
there is a hidden treasure
to be found
in the experience.
i have found what means the most.
© r.e.l. 6/4/10
this post is for Poetry Potluck Week 14 on Jingle Poetry
thanks so much to Jingle for this Best Poet Friend Award on Jingle Poetry
you are a gift to my world
do you know that?
i will follow you
to the end.
would the stars give me you,
the one i have searched for
all my life,
without also showing me
to find you
in my life?
i whispered to you
you took my hand
together we moved forward
to discover the wonders of
© r.e.l. 5/21/10