you know that feeling you get when you’re flying, no effort and—maybe by mistake—you stay there for awhile? stillness. and you stay in your body where time seems to stop. no fear, no goals, just being there.
you know that feeling.
you close your eyes. you are connected. and it doesn’t matter which part—it’s all of you.
it starts when you’re not looking. and remains.
©️r.e.l. 7/4/19
surge with me
in the same direction
at the same pace
toward the same cause
stare up at the sky
with me
for a moment, and see
that we are
listening
to the same
tune
no time for seemingly unreachable
confusion.
stand in front of me.
tower over leftover treasure,
and figure out what was
in the air between all of our words
© r.e.l. 12/16/18
she kept asking
the same question over and over
wanting to be inside him, to hear him speak
anything would do
answers that excluded him in her process
were not what she wanted to hear
she wanted him to guide her
by taking her hand
she chose him for a reason that stood
in front of her one day
and planted her waiting for him to pass
he was meant to become
a part of her
she wanted to tell him this
but she wanted it to last in his heart
and be held by him when he fell asleep at night
its essence on one of his pillows
she wanted to be special
she never lost hope in the silence between them
it was all she could do
to remember
his imaginary hand on her heart
helping her breathe
she grew up alone
reminded of her wish for his arms
around her, and where was he
sad of her successes without him
he became the ones she pursued
the ones who loved her
and then ridiculed her for loving
she learned early on
how to be provocative and walk away
to not connect was to protect her vulnerable heart
what she really wanted though
was for him to follow her
she wanted him to read her
she didn’t know how to ask that question
through waves of time
and heartbreaks
she learned how to protect herself
she loved
she became extraordinary
she yearned to be taken but was afraid to ask
© r.e.l. 6/25/17
for AllPoetry
…her eyes open to faint breathing. she reaches her foot out to touch his, and then his arms pull her toward him. breathing together, she knows their chemistry defines them.
…in that moment, she isn’t thinking about details in their lives that intersect, and that maybe they could celebrate those some day. she just wants him. all of him. she knows that it will all happen again. and again.
…in his absence, especially when she is cold, she imagines what he is saying to her in her ear. this protects her, living in precious memories that take over.
…feeling his heartbeat weighs on her as a comfort. inhales move all of what they’ve become through her, and exhales savor. he is a conduit to something important inside her.
© r.e.l. 12/11/16
i have no expectations, except that
you keep me
especially when i share myself
with you
in ways… that cannot be explained
with words
only space, and all that occurs
in the inhale
which is a lot, a world in and of itself
if you are listening
you know too
© r.e.l. 10/27/16
i know i’ve never been here before
not right here
but this space feels like
being inside you
floating above
maybe through
who am i now but pieces of you…
© r.e.l. 10/08/16
i am asked
by somewhere inside me
to move carefully
through you.
you can feel when i
enter the space
between us,
a field where
you are a question
calmly waiting
for me.
every time i clear my mind
to surrender
you invite me
to stay with you.
a hesitation now quieted…
i am not afraid to love you
before you are asking.
© r.e.l. 8/23/16
Posted for challenge #37 on Prose
whenever you want to find me
don’t forget
i’m there in your heart
believe it
it’s ok to cry
please cry now
tell me how you really feel
when you can’t breathe right
come and find me
i’ll take care of you
this has been true
since i first saw you
you are in love with me
i feel
do you find it hard to believe
that i could ever love you too?
is that why your eyes tear up
when you breathe?
all you need to do is
find me and tell me
show me who you are
what if it’s true
and i tell you that
i am in love with you
already
©r.e.l. 8/4/16
the best part was
where time stopped
and you found me in your eyes
your hair falling, blinding
at times
did not stop you from
finding me
in your heart
© r.e.l. 7/23/16
it was a time
when we have a view, a space
consoling colors reflecting along our ritual
before minds meet as words
before peace arises through channels that met their end
and healed their hearts
before becoming whole
i see us now
© r.e.l. 6/19/16
somewhere between then and now
between forever long ago and the future
there is a gap
you are in it
i already love you
no need to wonder
where my mind goes in moments
when our eyes meet
you’re inside me
as a voice that knows me better
than i could
opened to you
to whisper for me
grounding me with your eyes
that touch
i might melt
faster than i ever have
just watch me
© r.e.l. 5/18/16
Posted on Prose
you, who inspire
positive in life’s debilitating moments
philosopher, scientist, lover
you are whole, strength in softness
grounded in the silence between words
you watch me take it in
the one who stirs my heart
you write a valentine to me
because i am not invisible
your heart is not too broken to be real
you want to stare into my eyes
and it doesn’t matter what i am saying
about your stare
you are grounding me in your presence
opening my heart by standing there
breathing with me
you won’t be done any time soon
and know i’ve been waiting
for you to arrive
to brighten my darkness in the way i can’t do for myself
my sacrifices show
you say that my tears make me more beautiful
you want to know who i’ll become with you
you have earned the ability to adore me
© r.e.l. 2/13/16
Inspired by David Whyte and WriteYourselfAlive 30 day writing challenge through Rebelle Society
when i let myself want
to tell you myself,
i’m quick to convince myself to stop,
that i don’t want to matter to you.
when i only wanted to ask you,
(to show you)
the best of who i am
before my dazed vision
evaporates
to float away
the end of my story
where we float away
into our twilight
fading…
on edge
from the start
mostly…
i moved away
you missed me, only then
reality in absence
disbelieving heart
that couldn’t sleep…
not understanding
that despite you, despite me
i left
for a dream
reaching out to me
i decided to change
i needed to change
my life
© r.e.l. 2/5/16
Inspired by WriteYourselfAlive 30 day writing challenge through Rebelle Society
be patient
i’m not just saying that
as if it’s cliché
i’m afraid of you
and i need time
to delve into you
to trust the look in your eye
i know how many times
i’ve fallen for you
and i know when it’s time
to feel the way
your fingertips feel
when i imagine them
walking toward me
i am nervous to see you again
always. why? because
you paid attention to me.
we sat on the beach and you
listened, and you let yourself
lie down and watch
the sunset with me
until it went down.
completely
© r.e.l. 1/21/16
This is me and you saving the part that you want me to admit the answer to. That the parts between us want to touch, no different than before when we first began exploring about me and you, not lying through my smile.
Remember when I heard you whisper the first time, and you heard me without my speaking? I want to return to that moment, and state of being too. We were powerful then bridging beyond words to a place where sentences and phrases didn’t matter. The spirit speaks when musing and delight take over, along with wonders and desires to know more, to know everything.
My look toward you, into you, was authentic. Was it sad? You knew without a smile what I wanted. You knew as I grabbed my stuff, strong and powerful. You knew where I’d find you in my mind within moments. You knew you’d be there too.
And still I can’t help but cry a little that you didn’t take me away with you in that moment and whisper in my ear the words I’ve known, the language, the words floating above us waiting to be spoken.
When you placed my head gently against yours to hold me closer, I felt all that you know. I heard you say why but you know the answer and its source; because it’s still the same, hidden in your anger, in your lure and my regard. You no longer see through; you connect. You are there now with your eyes. I feel the difference in me now and then, in morning and in evening. My gage is you.
I want to be magic–a force you gravitate toward without reason and even smile when you know the reason. As you are dear to me, especially when I wake, especially when I’m tired. Your fingers run along my arm toward my heart, reminding me to never forget who I am.
An active clarity shining like roots, interspersed inside keeping us safe. My heart knows in silence how you link to aspiring my insides awake. I can write my way to you just as I look up in the sky at a cloud as I float.
Don’t you think that it’s time to be more than we are, more than our eyes sensing. You can take me now to the part where our worlds collide in the dimly-lit room. A candle lights the way to look at what we are, still eyes gazing in the direction of us, shadows behind us flickering.
© r.e.l. 10/8/15
Submitted to Rebelle Society 10/13/15
i don’t even know you
anymore, as i used to find you
frequently
actually, every time i closed my eyes
or not
you were in the mist, in the wind, in the flame
and in the sands falling grain by grain
keeping time
that i don’t notice
i followed you more than most things–
thoughts or activities
drifting toward you
unknowingly, intentionally
with confidence, with clarity
and now you are silenced
my voice
questioning
am i that difficult to forgive
what is it that flows through you
to me
and back into you
my arrow
my wish
i wrote this for you
so that you would hear me
again
© r.e.l. 9/15/15
it’s in the way you said it.
you reached out with courage.
you knew without asking,
without small talk.
when can i see you again,
as a statement.
using your power to find me,
to crush me.
i’m humbled by your beginning.
© r.e.l. 7/20/15
Image source: David Whyte http://www.davidwhyte.com/
i sent this to you now because i know there’s no agenda in the silence.
although it may seem i’m timid, aloof or afraid, i surrender to you… disappearing like morning sometimes.
please don’t be scared. forgive. forgive like i can almost see you.
it’s better to laugh it out. at your heart, but never disregard.
mean the world to me. my wounds remind me of you, and look forward to me being precious to you.
© r.e.l. 5/16/15
my secret innuendo® 