life

something important inside her

/ my secret innuendo / Leave a comment

fierysunset

…her eyes open to faint breathing. she reaches her foot out to touch his, and then his arms pull her toward him. breathing together, she knows their chemistry defines them.

…in that moment, she isn’t thinking about details in their lives that intersect, and that maybe they could celebrate those some day. she just wants him. all of him. she knows that it will all happen again. and again.

…in his absence, especially when she is cold, she imagines what he is saying to her in her ear. this protects her, living in precious memories that take over.

…feeling his heartbeat weighs on her as a comfort. inhales move all of what they’ve become through her, and exhales savor. he is a conduit to something important inside her.

© r.e.l. 12/11/16

before i float away

/ my secret innuendo / Leave a comment

new_way

when i let myself want
to tell you myself,
i’m quick to convince myself to stop,
that i don’t want to matter to you.
when i only wanted to ask you,
(to show you)
the best of who i am
before my dazed vision
evaporates
to float away

the end of my story
where we float away
into our twilight
fading…
on edge
from the start
mostly…
i moved away
you missed me, only then
reality in absence
disbelieving heart
that couldn’t sleep…
not understanding
that despite you, despite me
i left
for a dream
reaching out to me
i decided to change
i needed to change
my life

© r.e.l. 2/5/16

Inspired by WriteYourselfAlive 30 day writing challenge through Rebelle Society

dear precious tears

/ my secret innuendo / 14 Comments

girl_rain
who are you, precious life?

stay with me in your presence
that breathes even when it doesn’t try.
you see the potential that i don’t see in myself.
you cry sometimes
and prefer to hide…
surrounded by pillows, no one can see your face,
your weakness,
and you don’t have to be something you’re not,
something you feel others expect.

dear precious tears,
it’s ok
because you only come when your heart is shining
transferring all the opposite into you.
your water is not fear or anger
but freedom.
you are expression of desire met
beyond imagination, by your side.
you are delight at being enough
to be intimate
to be wanted.
you allow me to know that my space is safe
and you know what you need to say
when no one else is listening.

you are my gift.

© r.e.l. 9/3/14

Submitted to Thursday Poet Rally week 79 with Jingle Poetry

even more than i imagined

/ my secret innuendo / Leave a comment

seed
i’m scared to really look it in the eye
(what i really want)
because i don’t think i can have it.

i can’t keep it.

and what have i done wrong to make it so that this is so?
i’m covering my heart and drowning instead.
i want my experience to hold me
because i can’t hold myself in this way.

in my dream, the seed that is planted makes me special.
i’m ready for it.
then it’s gone when i open my eyes.
then i want it back even more than imagined i did.

 

© r.e.l. 7/16/14

 

 

a simple question

/ my secret innuendo / 2 Comments

heart_broke

what i really want to say

is too real

that you are more

than i can imagine ever knowing

all of.

why is it so hard to ask you

a simple question,

the only question i have?

i miss you when the time passes

and i’m scared of being left alone

with only my words.

i want to be the answer

you’ve searched for.

 

© r.e.l. 7/8/14

 

Posted (partial) on Micropoetry 8/15/14 for #heart theme

all i am, known

/ my secret innuendo / 6 Comments

Image source: http://thebestgardening.com/maple-seed-deception/

All I am is because of you. These wheels that turn are dedicated to your presence, as your eyes—across waves and time—have been on me.

You kept me honest, and kept me brave. I became someone because of you. Do you want to know how? I will tell you if you promise to walk by my side.

I want you to reknow me in the present. I am a person more flawed and more sensitive and consumed. In this you will truly know me and all that I have become. My experiences have become me.

Sometimes I sit and wait, always watching, never veering from the inner smile that makes up my insides and only sometimes shows on my face. In these moments, I am content and I want you to feel—actually, I know you do—my moments.

Maybe it’s the wind that captures me or leaves flying through the air, sometimes landing on my toes, that allow me to know that you know. It’s not as if you know it all, but you know when. Not exactly what, but that yes, you feel me in this moment. I know it is shared.

You know how to feel my moments.

writing inspired by The English Patient

[Behind the eyes of a writer™: A series, part seventeen Continuing on from between the letters, part sixteen in Behind the eyes of a writer™ series, the space to find the words needs to be opened, calmly with confidence.. Part eighteen in my Behind the eyes of a writer™ series is next]

© r.e.l. 11/11/13

Image source: http://thebestgardening.com/maple-seed-deception/

Featured on redbubble’s VaVoom

Featured on redbubble’s Feminine Intent

submitted to The Poetic Bond IIII  7/12/14

it triumphs

/ my secret innuendo / 1 Comment

Broken_Hearti know that look
that heart
that beats inside you
and dreams…

it loves
it craves
it hurts
it triumphs

i know that heart
like i know myself
it is you
it is me…

you wonder if
and when
and how it can be

to make your life
your way

you wait and feel
pray
and cry

but, you believe in your heart
in its mystery
in its unknown
you believe because i do too

© r.e.l. 10/3/13

for my daughter

a single embrace

/ my secret innuendo / 9 Comments

sometimes even

a

single

embrace

a touch

can help you build anew

…although vulnerable

as pieces inside of you

are ebbing, are fading,

you learn how to be alive

resilient, supple

and tiptoe forward

soles to the earth

step by step

to prize your beautiful

life

© r.e.l. 6/10/12

[also posted on redbubble]

covered in moss

/ my secret innuendo / 29 Comments

write with me
… as if i’m writing you
… as if i hear only your voice

your substance, your curves, your nuances, your eyes
as if for the first time
seeing me, perhaps
as a tiny particle of life in the ripple of a pond

it’s true, i remember the stars
when we first met

did you know that the cobble stones
on our path
each covered in moss
growing
alive
know that to provide direction
to you
is to cheat you of your trail of treasures in life?

… with your warm beaming clouds

listen to them
(.  .  .)
i do

© r.e.l. 5/27/12

Posted for Thursdays Poet Rally 6/6-6/13/12 on Hyde Park Poetry


precious heart

/ my secret innuendo / 9 Comments

i just whispered,
precious heart,
that you beat in colors
inhaling all of life
but also parts that should only
be viewed as if through an hourglass

don’t worry though,
it will all be ok …
breathe with me

you have  p r i c e l e s s  time
on your side

so, hide with me in the beach grass
… and listen to the wind and the waves

take my hand and join me
in the rest of our lives

© r.e.l. 5/23/12

Featured in redbubble’s Inspired by Life

 

it. all. matters.

/ my secret innuendo / 6 Comments


it all matters
my fragile soul broken, speaks
to me
hiding once…

don’t you realize that
we are already healed?

delicate you are, beautiful moment
elapsing yet not
your possibility never forgotten
saved in my heart, as you…

the flower that i pass
knows how to live
as time stops
in its waltz

it tells me–hide with me
in my competence
that needs no prestige
only being,
only tenderness

© r.e.l. 4/13/12

Posted for Poetry Picnic 4/15-4/22/12 on Gooseberry Garden