do you find it hard to believe

footsteps_sandwhenever you want to find me
don’t forget
i’m there in your heart
believe it

it’s ok to cry
please cry now
tell me how you really feel
when you can’t breathe right
come and find me
i’ll take care of you
this has been true
since i first saw you

you are in love with me
i feel
do you find it hard to believe
that i could ever love you too?
is that why your eyes tear up
when you breathe?
all you need to do is
find me and tell me
show me who you are

what if it’s true
and i tell you that
i am in love with you
already

©r.e.l. 8/4/16

before becoming

sunset=beforebecomingit was a time

when we have a view, a space

consoling colors reflecting along our ritual

before minds meet as words

before peace arises through channels that met their end

and healed their hearts

before becoming whole

i see us now

© r.e.l. 6/19/16

 

you wrote a valentine to me

rain_heartyou, who inspire
positive in life’s debilitating moments
philosopher, scientist, lover
you are whole, strength in softness
grounded in the silence between words
you watch me take it in

the one who stirs my heart
you write a valentine to me
because i am not invisible
your heart is not too broken to be real
you want to stare into my eyes
and it doesn’t matter what i am saying
about your stare

you are grounding me in your presence
opening my heart by standing there
breathing with me
you won’t be done any time soon
and know i’ve been waiting
for you to arrive
to brighten my darkness in the way i can’t do for myself

my sacrifices show
you say that my tears make me more beautiful
you want to know who i’ll become with you
you have earned the ability to adore me

© r.e.l. 2/13/16

Inspired by David Whyte and WriteYourselfAlive 30 day writing challenge through Rebelle Society

before i float away

new_way

when i let myself want
to tell you myself,
i’m quick to convince myself to stop,
that i don’t want to matter to you.
when i only wanted to ask you,
(to show you)
the best of who i am
before my dazed vision
evaporates
to float away

the end of my story
where we float away
into our twilight
fading…
on edge
from the start
mostly…
i moved away
you missed me, only then
reality in absence
disbelieving heart
that couldn’t sleep…
not understanding
that despite you, despite me
i left
for a dream
reaching out to me
i decided to change
i needed to change
my life

© r.e.l. 2/5/16

Inspired by WriteYourselfAlive 30 day writing challenge through Rebelle Society

i sent this to you now

Image source: David Whyte http://www.davidwhyte.com/

Image source: David Whyte http://www.davidwhyte.com/

i sent this to you now because i know there’s no agenda in the silence.

although it may seem i’m timid, aloof or afraid, i surrender to you… disappearing like morning sometimes.

please don’t be scared. forgive. forgive like i can almost see you.

it’s better to laugh it out. at your heart, but never disregard.

mean the world to me. my wounds remind me of you, and look forward to me being precious to you.

© r.e.l. 5/16/15

why don’t we…

heart_doorin a moment i can imagine myself there.

and you. you are there walking by my side.
the air is smoky because our eyes are glazed over.
i cannot see past your face.

we know we are here, and it doesn’t matter how we got here.

i think of you and this day in a time that is later.
i don’t need to find you now to work out the details how to get there.
i just know it’s the way you hold my hand that matters most,
the way you hear me when i don’t speak, and hold yourself toward me as if we are still flirting our way into each other.

why don’t we check ourselves in now to the rest of our lives?

© r.e.l. 4/2/15

my voice as it describes you

heart_Bizarre del Bizarrio:Flickrcome to me with your confidence
and all
that you know i want.

you don’t expect me to be someone i’m not,
because you know i am vulnerable, right?

you can see the tenderness in
the reality of my defenseless heart.

i like my voice as it describes you to me

…and now, i have something i need to tell you

in person.

don’t ask me to show you what it’s like to lose a beautiful heart,
mine.
don’t let me go another day before i tell you i love you.

© r.e.l. 1/2/15

Won Perfect Poet Award in Thursday Poets Rally week 79 with Hyde Park Poetry

baldeagle+perfect+poets+at+hyde+park+poetry+palace+rally+week+79

confidence in me
inching toward you breath by breath
i miss you today

© r.e.l. 1/29/15

I nominate Sina Saberi

 

you can’t hide that from me

coffee_thoughtYou are an enigma.
This is about you
and the secret you keep behind your eyes.
It’s unreal to me that you could be there for me.
I see your smile
when you look at me from the place inside you
that is for me,
in the moments when we are touching
or even speaking
as if it’s not happening
when it’s what I want the most
to be cherished by you.

You can’t hide that from me.
It’s not unreal.
When you come to me, I see you with a sixth sense.
You have words but are silent.
I can hear you with your eyes that are blue and clear
staring into me.
Just a tilt of you head
as you hide behind your glass halfway
is enough for me to see
all of it.
My breath is gentle as you come closer, seconds taking minutes.
We are in slow motion and I want that to last.
I want to continue to see your heart beating…

You are more real to me than most things.
I want you in a precious way.
A world is formed
without speaking,
not desperate, or touched with broken hearts.
I don’t know what time it is and it doesn’t matter how long we are here.

I can hear you behind your face that cringes
with the power of the world on your shoulders
against us.
I look into your eyes.
I want to know the secret of you
but you won’t tell me
so I find it
through days or weeks,
through many words and senses.
I can hear you still
even in your fingertips
that lightly brush against me.
You want me in a precious way.

I believe in your conviction
to your heart
to your trust
and you won’t lie to me.
I find it through the pauses between sentences, unwritten
or smiles that you can’t hold back
(and lips that know me).

I want to sit next to you and hold your hand
and know you are near.
I want to take care of you,
your emotions, your world,
as if I am holding your hand to help you think.
I don’t want you to ask me questions
because you already know the answers.
I know you are near even when you aren’t.
We already have many questions
with responses
throbbing inside of us.
I want to take you home with me
and get tangled in memories, in us.

© r.e.l. 12/14/14

Published on Rebelle Society 1.3.15

Image source: unknown

you float as i know you

floating_candles

in the days when i loved you more than i loved myself
i floated, like light, above water, above myself

to a dream that is hard to forget
(i never forgot)
words that were dying to be shared
as hearts, sacred
opened up to melt onto the floor

together to protect each other, to protect themselves
voices whispered
tears of the past, of the present, of the future broke
presence that would live on and become patience

© r.e.l. 11/1/14

a memoir of a special time

trees_pisaencapsulating every inch, touching.

i imagine how your hands clasp mine.

we are a bravery that led to senses.

of understanding whispers, or of character in windows of time.

of future times, slowly with deep eyes.

like beautiful surrender wrapped up, frozen…

follow me to my heart that risks. vulnerable, slow down, slower. testing the dream, flames shift.

where your hands are a metaphor for your heart waiting for strength and a voice, waiting to begin and not end. to feel safe and live inside me to tell me your beautiful words.

 

© r.e.l. 9/28/14

 

 

do you know?

IMG_3422-0.JPGdo you know that i will lay my strength beside you and surrender?

do you know that i have it in me to wonder if it can be brave enough for you?

do you remember
that i miss you?

do you know that my smile was always for you? it was hidden at the bottom of me.

do you believe that i am typing these words just for you?

do you know that i dreamed i was wrapped in you last night?

do you ever think of my shadows or yours when you brush against me?

do you remember our silent moments that connected us despite our lack of patience?

do you believe that your eyes melted me each time then and still do?

© r.e.l. 9/14/14

that which rises

echo_ocean3

you are that which rises.

and you know me to be the one who senses you now, a reprise.

did you know that i heard you last night when you spoke to me with your eyes?

you were the ocean then, yet not.

you were an ironic metaphor with clarity,

the kind that floats by unnoticed, hides in corners, or drops to the floor.

you were that which you cannot comprehend, even to yourself.

 

© r.e.l. 8/29/14

for someone special

…what if

dreamsthatcometrueYou love the fire. You are it, moving quickly, emulating its spark. Your miles to go in your mind, before calmed, drive you. Transfixed on you I am.

Be you, be the you I have known. Smile at me until I melt into something else. You are beyond getting my attention. You make me know why I’m alive.

And now I’m on fire because when I first saw you, recently and not, I fell in love with you. All I knew from before, relived in a moment, rejoined with all that we created then, to be continued later. You smiled when you knew I loved you then. You knew. You know now.

© r.e.l. 3/25/13

Featured on Feminine Intent on Redbubble

Posted on Medium 3/18/14

even more than i imagined

seed
i’m scared to really look it in the eye
(what i really want)
because i don’t think i can have it.

i can’t keep it.

and what have i done wrong to make it so that this is so?
i’m covering my heart and drowning instead.
i want my experience to hold me
because i can’t hold myself in this way.

in my dream, the seed that is planted makes me special.
i’m ready for it.
then it’s gone when i open my eyes.
then i want it back even more than imagined i did.

 

© r.e.l. 7/16/14

 

 

a simple question

heart_broke

what i really want to say

is too real

that you are more

than i can imagine ever knowing

all of.

why is it so hard to ask you

a simple question,

the only question i have?

i miss you when the time passes

and i’m scared of being left alone

with only my words.

i want to be the answer

you’ve searched for.

 

© r.e.l. 7/8/14

 

Posted (partial) on Micropoetry 8/15/14 for #heart theme

in my search

growing
i know deep down
that only the right thing
is happening to me.

i speak now to you,
my dream,
my core desire,
my distraction,
which will tie us together in a balanced state.

in my search, i have been sad
because of the inability to find
the part of you that is me.

but now i have it
when i can see your face in the present,
in person,
i am not worrying.

you tell me not to fade away,
to rest
and so i do.

© r.e.l. 4/23/14

Posted (partial) on Micropoetry 8/22/14 for #search theme

as if hidden, you are this

bluetreeI am hidden. Are you? As if to be hidden behind words that speak illusively, at all times, bouncing off buildings and walls. I shoot an arrow and it comes back to me. Some day.

Who are you anyway? Are you the words or are they merely what comes out when trying to speak? There is no time to leave important words unsaid. I speak of eloquence.

Inspirational times with comic undertones spark a tune in another. Sometimes. But, truly, it’s all for you. You who deserve to be timeless and unforgotten. You are where my eyes open to receive what I’m waking up to now. I am here now because you were there and smiled and felt.

Create. Create all you can be. Be creative. Be daring. Be you. I will walk with you, and you will walk with me. But don’t forget to be balanced, be calm and be all that you should be behind the eyes of you. Don’t tell anyone if you falter.

My calling is you, an obligation to fulfill. You are what begs to flow from me, knowing what to make of it along the way, unsuspecting. You occupy the space between sentences, between thoughts that hang and then drop.

You are my arrow I shot long ago. It came back to me with its secret. It told me with its fire: be the you that wakes up in the morning, still groggy, remembering what exactly went on the hours before while dreaming.

Your image burned in my brain fills me with the opposite of order that I need. I let you build up so that I can understand you better. You give me the power to say No. You allow my creative—my unknown—to surge, to cascade. You are endless and you are real. You make me want to write a story, phenomenal, of us. As a river raging knows my name with impatience trickling, in an instant I am known. Finally.

But it’s just me here now writing… and, all I have are my verses wondering how to get through to you. I seem to be writing as if from a distant land when I realize that life without you isn’t possible. I want to stay there in this moment forever. You are the river that I once swam up, I swim again. Stay with me, you whisper.

© r.e.l. 7/17/13

Published on Rebelle Society  5.10.14

[This is Behind the eyes of a writer™: A series, part fourteen. Continuing on from a dedication, part thirteen in Behind the eyes of a writer™ series, I tear you apart in pieces to unglue what you’ve become. Part fifteen in my Behind the eyes of a writer™ series is next]