i figured out a way

roots_together
if you were here now
looking into me
i would tell you about my heart
and its secret wish i promised

to notice that
i am inside you

and now
i figured out a way
to not miss you too much

© r.e.l. 2/3/15

submitted to Thursday Poets Rally week 80 on Hype Park Poetry Palace on 2/14/15

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a memoir of a special time

trees_pisaencapsulating every inch, touching.

i imagine how your hands clasp mine.

we are a bravery that led to senses.

of understanding whispers, or of character in windows of time.

of future times, slowly with deep eyes.

like beautiful surrender wrapped up, frozen…

follow me to my heart that risks. vulnerable, slow down, slower. testing the dream, flames shift.

where your hands are a metaphor for your heart waiting for strength and a voice, waiting to begin and not end. to feel safe and live inside me to tell me your beautiful words.

 

© r.e.l. 9/28/14

 

 

do you know that i will lay my strength beside you?

balance3Do you know that I will lay my strength beside you and surrender? Forgive me, but it’s who I am, weakened into broken submission when I feel you close. When you are as the ocean, you are my iconic metaphor with clarity—the kind that floats by unnoticed, hides in corners, or drops to the floor.

Do you know that I have it in me to wonder if it can be brave enough for you? I’m right around the corner of your confidence, wide awake with hunger, but I need you to hold me to show me. Hold me now, I ask you, because I can’t hold myself in this way. Make all of my toes touch the floor at the same time.

Do you remember 
that I miss you? I wonder what you feel, when you believe it’s not possible to be with the me you know me to be. Am I an illusion that floats above your head while waking, that which you cannot comprehend, even to yourself? And still, I carry holes of you within me.

Do you know that my smile was always for you? It was hidden at the bottom of me. I was looking down, and within, really listening. I heard you there, when you saw my smile. I feel you know that.

Do you believe that I am typing these words just for you? I wonder if I should be there now while you read this. You are wondering why I’m not. I should have been. I made eyes with you across the room while you did though, and I lightly bit my finger in shyness as I watched you come towards me.

Do you know that I dreamed I was wrapped in you last night? You deserve an explanation for waking without me; it was a dream. It doesn’t seem fair to wait much longer, to wake to a pillow instead—where no one can see your face when you cry, to count the seconds to another day gone by before you should be.

Do you ever think of my shadows or yours when you brush against me? My tears seep through and tell you to stay with me in your presence that breathes even when it doesn’t try.

Do you remember our silent moments that connected us despite our lack of patience? I am working my way toward you. You are expression of desire met beyond imagination, by your side. You are delight at being enough to be wanted. You know what to say, even when no one else is listening. You are the experience of my teardrop. You are a gift.

Do you believe that your eyes melted me each time then and still do? Don’t give up on me. I am not going anywhere. I know that you are that which rises and you know me to be the one who senses you now, a reprise. And I heard you last night when you spoke to me with your dream, intense and beautiful. You spoke of a ride you foresee with ups and downs, receiving and holding. And now it is so close that I can taste it.

Published on Rebelle Society 12/19/14

© r.e.l. 9/20/14

Image source: gravityglue.com

a simple question

heart_broke

what i really want to say

is too real

that you are more

than i can imagine ever knowing

all of.

why is it so hard to ask you

a simple question,

the only question i have?

i miss you when the time passes

and i’m scared of being left alone

with only my words.

i want to be the answer

you’ve searched for.

 

© r.e.l. 7/8/14

 

Posted (partial) on Micropoetry 8/15/14 for #heart theme

in my search

growing
i know deep down
that only the right thing
is happening to me.

i speak now to you,
my dream,
my core desire,
my distraction,
which will tie us together in a balanced state.

in my search, i have been sad
because of the inability to find
the part of you that is me.

but now i have it
when i can see your face in the present,
in person,
i am not worrying.

you tell me not to fade away,
to rest
and so i do.

© r.e.l. 4/23/14

Posted (partial) on Micropoetry 8/22/14 for #search theme

disappoints, not

it’s why i’m a writer
because life is in balance
a seesaw, tipping

i see life through a lens
that looks for what’s interspersed
as opposites
each sting
has a petal

i can hear what you see
when i am grateful
to be alive

behind the eyes of a thinker
who disappoints, not

because there is a balance
always
and the thought of a dream
behind a barrier
cannot exist unless
you see it

© r.e.l. 10/31/12

Posted for 10/30/12-11/5/12 on Jingle Poetry

find a way to show me

as soon as i think i know
then i remember
that i don’t…

you’re already there
don’t forget
who you are

i won’t turn anything on
or off
can i just be me?

can’t you try to keep your soul
and fill your heart
but not take mine?

you mean let the ground speak
through my feet?

you’re irresistible to me
in ways that i cannot tell

find a way
to show me

© r.e.l. 2/8/11

featured in Imaginative Skulls on redbubble

posted for Poetry Potluck week 22 on Jingle Poetry

featured in Love Bytes on redbubble

finding the right work-life balance… to ensure happiness, health, and well-being

Are you a workaholic?  Do you tell yourself that you work extra hours because you really need the money, or that your job really needs you, and that it’s ok to take care of all of “this” and not yourself?  Because you do know that if you are working too much, you are acting like you are not very important.

If you need rationale outside of yourself in order to ease up, remember that NO ONE really gets the best of you anyway if you don’t nurture yourself first.

Or do you, for one reason or another, find yourself addicted to your computer whether it’s work or personal?

Maybe, without knowing it, you are covering up something basic in your existence and doing it through your work.  Staying busy all the time with your work, as your purpose, can be like a drug that you continually allow to drive you.  But you can beat it if you recognize who you really are.

Important facets of livelihood:

Balance.

Work some / play some, be around people / be alone, talk / think silently, be analytical / be poetic, yin / yang.

Exercise.

Moving your body is to move your mind too, as your cells flow through you and renew you.  Stagnant or blocked energy can make its way through to expression as your life force regenerates and frees you.

Eating habits.

The nutritional value of the food you put into your body, as well as the timing of it fuel the kind of person you become.  Drinking pure water as often as you can during the day is a tremendous boost too.  If you let blood sugar levels drop without paying attention, or if you let yourself get head rushes from too much stress (or caffeine), you can be harming yourself.  Pay attention to the calories you intake to make sure they will get you through the day before it’s too late.  Otherwise, unhealthy cravings appear as do routines that will lead you down the wrong path.

Silence.

Are you able to sit alone with yourself, hearing nothing but your own thoughts?  Can you sit there alone, doing nothing else, and eventually calm your thoughts? Learning to be alone and silent with yourself is just as important as any other nurturing activity in your life.  You should set aside time in each day to do nothing but be silent and go inside yourself.  Listen to yourself so that you can learn your magic that only you have the power to unleash.

Social life.

Getting out of the normal working routine and mixing it up with friends is a great way to balance out your life.  Better yet, do not even mention your work when you are socializing.  And get out of the normal workplace as well.

Emotions.

Take time to express emotions that come to you, whether they are desire, happiness or anger.  Blowing off steam with a healthy breathing routine, or running around the block, can help you tremendously with anger management.  Calling a friend and having a good cry can be so releasing for your spirit.  Writing a poem, watching a sunset, or vacuuming can too.  Whatever it takes, whenever emotions arise…  It’s important to express them in a healthy way.

Be easy on yourself.  Break rules sometimes.

Rules are meant to be broken, especially if you are used to following them.  And this holds true for your mind too.  You don’t have to the perfect meditator, perfect parent, perfect yogi, or perfect anything.  The whole list in this article, in fact, is about living a good life, but sometimes we need to have some vices or most importantly give ourselves a break in order to meet the best balance!

Ommm

© r.e.l. 10/4/10

[If you liked this article, I suggest “a stressfree life“]

coming into wholeness

Coming into wholeness. What does that mean?  To feel yourself at peace, in love and at one with your path in life.

It is possible to find this peace from within yourself — not relying on another person or object.  Allow yourself to let go of all the impediments that make your mind over-think, fear and worry.  Without all of the excess, you are free!

You can access this freedom any time, in fact!  The truest side of who you are, undisturbed, coexists with the emotional mind…

A metaphor… Imagine 3 buckets of water.

  • one is muddy
  • one is stirred up
  • one is still and clear

The sun is shining in all 3, and they each enjoy the sun equally.

Reflection in the first bucket is dim and dull, in the second is agitated, and in the third is peaceful.

Where the sun is the Self, the water is the mind, and the reflection is the Ego (mis-identification),  we can make some conclusions.

My true self is a constant that is independent of how my mind is acting.  If I appear to reflect “muddy water” I see dullness and depression.  If I appear to reflect agitation, I will feel like I’m breaking apart in pieces.  If I appear to reflect stillness and clarity, however, I will feel a profound peacefulness with my Self and feel at one.

So, if I am seeing muddy water, or water that is stirred up, how do I calm it? The answer is to calm the rajas (activity, motion and irritation in the mind) and the tamas (inert and dullness in the mind), so that you can feel the sattva (the purity of the mind).  Rajas and tamas create imbalance.  Yoga, meditation or other physical activity / mental-calming activities will do the trick.

For more on dream interpretation and meditative imagery interpretation, read here.

Independent of what is reflected by the mind, the sun is always shining and I am always whole.  I just have to know it, feel it and identify with it.

© r.e.l. 9/22/10

Inspired by the teachings of Advaita Vedanta, Sankhya Yoga and the Upanishads…

tiger eye

crystal clear
my mind’s eye

find the eye of my patient heart
and my perfect timing

slow
yet deliberate
i focus now
on you…

as you
change my life
balance me
give me strength
quiet me

as i climb the walls
to my secret
platform in the sky

© r.e.l. 8/15/10

a stress free life

Do you wake in the morning and tell yourself that today will be the day that you will really take your health to another level? One idea to ponder is why you would wait. Any moment can be a time to set your intention. You might wait because you are too stressed at the idea of changing.

A healthy life makes you feel great but activities that drive our personalities can interfere with health, some of which feed addictive behaviors, stress, overindulgence or even laziness. Although we all mean well and fully intend to do what our heart tells us to do, is following every inclination at every moment actually following your heart and acting with your best health in mind?

There are many different facets included in health. Those that require motivation for some of you such as diet, exercise and mind-calming activities are part of it, but if you are stressed about the plan you have for yourself or the goal you wish to achieve, then maybe you are going about it in the wrong way for you.

If your plan is to drastically cut out all of the poison in your life all at once, and trade it for regimented goodness, and this makes you crazy in your mind, then perhaps there is a better solution for you.

We are talking about your body, mind, heart and spirit. A plan for health needs to include each or else a part of you will attack the plan, so to say, and never start, or fulfill a part of it while another part becomes detrimental to your health.

Stress can eat away at your insides and definitely shows on the outside, so you can’t hide from it and you can’t hide it from others. What is most important is your internal appearance, which if nurtured, reflects to your whole being.

How about starting out slowly to come to terms with what will truly work for you. Spend a day alone dedicated completely to yourself simply to form your plan.

  • Drink a lot of water to hydrate and cleanse your system removing toxins.
  • Alkalinize a stressed body by nurturing yourself with foods that will increase your acidic pH such as lemon in your water, avocado, grapefruit and most greens to name a few.  This will leave you with more vibrancy and mental clarity.
  • Try to move slowly through your day paying attention to your feet on the ground as you move — preferably barefooted.
  • Yoga, pranayama breathing, meditation and music can assist you greatly in your effort.
  • Go for a walk along the beach and listen to the ocean waves soothe your soul and perhaps give you answers.

Slowly without trying you will find yourself formulating the formula for your stress free life. Keep a journal handy and write down whatever inspires you. If you’re lucky you’ll end the day with a wise mantra, a list or even a heart-opening poem. Without even knowing it you’ll probably feel a connection with your spirit and life force.

At this point, you will know what you need to do, and will do it with ease in a way which supports your life customized to you.

One final hint: don’t tell anyone your grand plan. You are doing this for yourself, not for anyone else 🙂  Others will notice the new you emanating from the old you in no time…

Namaste.

© r.e.l. 7/10/10

about balance in life

Sometimes I feel like I am scattered in too many places, with too many activities and endeavors in my life.  Every day is different and I wonder if I have a lack of clarity on where I’m headed.

However, I realize with this question, I am comparing myself to those people who are fully dedicated to one area in their life.

When I remove the comparison to others, which is a necessary and healthy avenue to take, I realize the answer. I am fully balanced in my life.

A mother, a writer, a friend, a yogini, a spiritual seeker, a dreamer, a lover, a hiker, a surfer, an inspiration, a teacher, a graduate student, a music lover, a traveler, an explorer, a mystic, an artist, a silent loner, a social butterfly, a fast mover, a slow mover….forever enchanted.  The list goes on the more I think.

It’s all about balance.

I am on one path but have many tributaries in my river of life…  Each day I wake and decide in the moment which branch, like a root, to follow.  This grounds me into myself.

😉

© r.e.l. 7/4/10

 

i am

i am an ocean
of words
you a chaser of silence…
and i am yours now

like a team
we balance
not pushing the river
that flows by itself
in the mirrors of us
what we seek
to diminish
to crave
we are
somehow
within the roots
that bind us
after the words
nothing changes
yet everything does

© r.e.l. 4/28/10