before becoming

sunset=beforebecomingit was a time

when we have a view, a space

consoling colors reflecting along our ritual

before minds meet as words

before peace arises through channels that met their end

and healed their hearts

before becoming whole

i see us now

© r.e.l. 6/19/16

 

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just watch me

sky2

somewhere between then and now
between forever long ago and the future
there is a gap
you are in it

i already love you
no need to wonder
where my mind goes in moments
when our eyes meet

you’re inside me
as a voice that knows me better
than i could
opened to you
to whisper for me
grounding me with your eyes
that touch

i might melt
faster than i ever have
just watch me

© r.e.l. 5/18/16

Posted on Prose

why don’t we…

heart_doorin a moment i can imagine myself there.

and you. you are there walking by my side.
the air is smoky because our eyes are glazed over.
i cannot see past your face.

we know we are here, and it doesn’t matter how we got here.

i think of you and this day in a time that is later.
i don’t need to find you now to work out the details how to get there.
i just know it’s the way you hold my hand that matters most,
the way you hear me when i don’t speak, and hold yourself toward me as if we are still flirting our way into each other.

why don’t we check ourselves in now to the rest of our lives?

© r.e.l. 4/2/15

you float as i know you

floating_candles

in the days when i loved you more than i loved myself
i floated, like light, above water, above myself

to a dream that is hard to forget
(i never forgot)
words that were dying to be shared
as hearts, sacred
opened up to melt onto the floor

together to protect each other, to protect themselves
voices whispered
tears of the past, of the present, of the future broke
presence that would live on and become patience

© r.e.l. 11/1/14

…what if

dreamsthatcometrueYou love the fire. You are it, moving quickly, emulating its spark. Your miles to go in your mind, before calmed, drive you. Transfixed on you I am.

Be you, be the you I have known. Smile at me until I melt into something else. You are beyond getting my attention. You make me know why I’m alive.

And now I’m on fire because when I first saw you, recently and not, I fell in love with you. All I knew from before, relived in a moment, rejoined with all that we created then, to be continued later. You smiled when you knew I loved you then. You knew. You know now.

© r.e.l. 3/25/13

Featured on Feminine Intent on Redbubble

Posted on Medium 3/18/14

show me why

stinson beachshow me why i feel as i do now.

that i know between your thoughts
is a search for the same
as me,
you pulled my arms around you closer
when i lived in the past seconds.

that you are
bouncing back at me, a reflection
this feeling looking for me
when you saw me smile before you,
and knew as you dashed off
that my seconds would remain, ingrained in you.

that without you
i would still be spinning in my mind
day after day
intentions full and alive
but closed up
to wait another day
to see something that makes me different
when you spoke while drowning in your words
and i heard.

that as the days go by
my dreams lead me toward you
not because of me
but because of you
and who you are.

show me why
i have made the choice
to traverse the edge of crazy
to chose you.
to love you.

 

© r.e.l. 4/14/14

submitted to Thursday Poets Rally week 80 on Hype Park Poetry Palace

submitted to The Poetic Bond IIII 7/12/14

image: Stinson Beach from Mt. Tam (credits: r.e.l.)

posted on Micropoetry 6/13/14 for #reflection theme

posted on Medium 4/14/14

 

i want to sit back in our dream

i want to sit back in our dream
in our chairs in the sun one afternoon
and just know we did it, the right thing.

when i finally said the right words
when you finally felt soothed and knew you could not return
to the life you once knew, nevermore.

when you finally said it right this time
you convinced me
your mind spoke, while drowning
and then it smiled, while crying
somehow getting through to me, it worked.

with me from that moment on
when i was there for you and you for me
in those moments when you heard my words
the time you looked in my eyes, pulled my arms around you closer.

you are the bright side of forever
a feeling that had been looking for me
it saw who i was
and sent me to you.

i had you
you saw me smile before you dashed off
knowing that my seconds would remain ingrained in your brain.

© r.e.l. 3/2/14

 

Submitted to the POETRY magazine

as if hidden, you are this

bluetreeI am hidden. Are you? As if to be hidden behind words that speak illusively, at all times, bouncing off buildings and walls. I shoot an arrow and it comes back to me. Some day.

Who are you anyway? Are you the words or are they merely what comes out when trying to speak? There is no time to leave important words unsaid. I speak of eloquence.

Inspirational times with comic undertones spark a tune in another. Sometimes. But, truly, it’s all for you. You who deserve to be timeless and unforgotten. You are where my eyes open to receive what I’m waking up to now. I am here now because you were there and smiled and felt.

Create. Create all you can be. Be creative. Be daring. Be you. I will walk with you, and you will walk with me. But don’t forget to be balanced, be calm and be all that you should be behind the eyes of you. Don’t tell anyone if you falter.

My calling is you, an obligation to fulfill. You are what begs to flow from me, knowing what to make of it along the way, unsuspecting. You occupy the space between sentences, between thoughts that hang and then drop.

You are my arrow I shot long ago. It came back to me with its secret. It told me with its fire: be the you that wakes up in the morning, still groggy, remembering what exactly went on the hours before while dreaming.

Your image burned in my brain fills me with the opposite of order that I need. I let you build up so that I can understand you better. You give me the power to say No. You allow my creative—my unknown—to surge, to cascade. You are endless and you are real. You make me want to write a story, phenomenal, of us. As a river raging knows my name with impatience trickling, in an instant I am known. Finally.

But it’s just me here now writing… and, all I have are my verses wondering how to get through to you. I seem to be writing as if from a distant land when I realize that life without you isn’t possible. I want to stay there in this moment forever. You are the river that I once swam up, I swim again. Stay with me, you whisper.

© r.e.l. 7/17/13

Published on Rebelle Society  5.10.14

[This is Behind the eyes of a writer™: A series, part fourteen. Continuing on from a dedication, part thirteen in Behind the eyes of a writer™ series, I tear you apart in pieces to unglue what you’ve become. Part fifteen in my Behind the eyes of a writer™ series is next]

all i am, known

Image source: http://thebestgardening.com/maple-seed-deception/

All I am is because of you. These wheels that turn are dedicated to your presence, as your eyes—across waves and time—have been on me.

You kept me honest, and kept me brave. I became someone because of you. Do you want to know how? I will tell you if you promise to walk by my side.

I want you to reknow me in the present. I am a person more flawed and more sensitive and consumed. In this you will truly know me and all that I have become. My experiences have become me.

Sometimes I sit and wait, always watching, never veering from the inner smile that makes up my insides and only sometimes shows on my face. In these moments, I am content and I want you to feel—actually, I know you do—my moments.

Maybe it’s the wind that captures me or leaves flying through the air, sometimes landing on my toes, that allow me to know that you know. It’s not as if you know it all, but you know when. Not exactly what, but that yes, you feel me in this moment. I know it is shared.

You know how to feel my moments.

writing inspired by The English Patient

[Behind the eyes of a writer™: A series, part seventeen Continuing on from between the letters, part sixteen in Behind the eyes of a writer™ series, the space to find the words needs to be opened, calmly with confidence.. Part eighteen in my Behind the eyes of a writer™ series is next]

© r.e.l. 11/11/13

Image source: http://thebestgardening.com/maple-seed-deception/

Featured on redbubble’s VaVoom

Featured on redbubble’s Feminine Intent

submitted to The Poetic Bond IIII  7/12/14

like smoke, of blue and green

Aurora+Borealis,+Alaska950

like the smoky light that passes by
inside me
my stomach, on edge
my senses, fluttering

as i hang thoughts
of us
on the baffling air
that defines our devotion

the time approaches
as we’ve planned
…and then i hear a voice inside speaking softly
but i’m not perfect enough yet. not today. one more day.

yet waiting, unfathomable

but, i know you
and all the reasons
as lessons
for them
for you
for me

so that in the end i
could have you

and still, i can’t help but get tangled up in the world of wondering why you aren’t here right now.

© r.e.l. 4/14/13

image source: mary mary

you had time to save me

hourglass

thank you is not the same
without you here
to stare into
to touch with my fingertips
lightly

seconds pass by loudly
as sand moves through time
enunciating each tick

impatiently, i allow my wandering senses
to embrace simple thoughts of you,
every memory relived

…a teardrop—of joy—on my pillow,
and i know i am reaching out
for your grasp
to taste you in a form
that exceeds words

yet you are an apparition
of time that happens,
but not here in my moment

dear illusion,
please show me where you and now coexist
so that i know

because i have learned
how to stop time…
i will find you
interlaced with me

never forgetting
that in the midst of it all
you found time to save me

all i have i will give to you
i will give you
me

© r.e.l. 3/12/13

Featured in Redbubble’s Vibration in Art and Verse – VAVoom!

Published (in part) on Micropoetry Society