darkness

your wandering heart

/ my secret innuendo / 18 Comments

the_answers

if you saw through my eyes and heart to who you are to me, maybe it would be different for you now in your mind that wanders.

if you saw my teardrops when i think of the way you turn away when i say it wrong, maybe you’d know the truth.

if you remind me of someone who i hurt deeply or who hurt me, maybe you’d know that any word or look could activate that and become you.

if you heard me explain through my wounds, maybe you could feel yourself and me better and then know why i am shielding you from me.

if you knew that i could and desire to protect you and know exactly what to do and how to hold you, maybe you would feel content now just imagining it.

if you knew that every day i imagine where you are and wonder if i could find you in my days, maybe you’d look for me.

if you knew just how much i care and my capacity to love, maybe you could feel my vulnerable self who worries that it would overwhelm you.

if you only knew just how much i could love you…

if you only knew what a hole your absence leaves, maybe you would come back to me.

if you knew how turned on i am just to be by your side, maybe your heart would smile when you saw me.

if you knew how awkward it is for me too to be alone, maybe you would see yourself in my mirror.

if you knew that i already know you from my dream last night, maybe that would help you live in the present right now and connect with me in the spaces between us.

if you knew that to look in your eyes revives me, maybe you would look into me more and see who you are to me.

if you settled into your true self and asked yourself ‘why?’, maybe your answer would be my voice and then you’d know.

if you truly become your heart, you will really feel me… do you still think i don’t care?

if you feel your breath the way i do, sense your presence the way i do, hold your moments the way i do, you would know how much you are loved.

© r.e.l. 2/25/15

Received Perfect Poet Award for Thursday Poets Rally week 81 on Hyde Park Poetry. thank you…

Published on Rebelle Society {poetry} 5.26.15

in my search

/ my secret innuendo / Leave a comment

growing
i know deep down
that only the right thing
is happening to me.

i speak now to you,
my dream,
my core desire,
my distraction,
which will tie us together in a balanced state.

in my search, i have been sad
because of the inability to find
the part of you that is me.

but now i have it
when i can see your face in the present,
in person,
i am not worrying.

you tell me not to fade away,
to rest
and so i do.

© r.e.l. 4/23/14

Posted (partial) on Micropoetry 8/22/14 for #search theme

its paradox

/ my secret innuendo / 10 Comments

ever emerging
all sides
of you

choose the
one in your now
who is
in between
your dark night
your early dawn

rising
because it knows
what to do
…next

is it the
mystery
u n f o l d i n g
its view
its paradox
that chooses
without limits
to protect you?

© r.e.l. 7/20/11

image klamath lake 

Posted for Poetry Potluck 7/17-7/23/11 on Jingle Poetry

Featured in All Out Emotion on redbubble

Featured in Touched By Fire on redbubble

Posted on Micropoetry for theme #dark

in the raindrops

/ my secret innuendo / 18 Comments

you know
that you are
the light
that enters
my dark
the eclipse of you
a mystery
opening the door
to me
to my breath that lies floating now
exposed
lost in the raindrops of
knowing the cracks
in the spaces of us
tell a story we have yet to know
touched by the gap between inhaling and
remembering that you
do not leak out of my life
forever in a moment…

© r.e.l. 1/2/11

painting ‘Light Coming into the Cave’ by yvonca

**this post is for Poetry Potluck Week 17 Journey and The Road Ahead (1/9/11-1/15/11) on Jingle Poetry

Received Kreativ Blogger Award from Jingle Poetry

 

darkness you can find in your yoga practice: the psychology of you

/ my secret innuendo / 22 Comments

Are you scared to face something within yourself? Do you sometimes feel that time is against you or that you cannot fulfill your wishes because of your fears?

You know that the answers are in your dark sides that you probably refuse to see.  Did you know that yoga has the potential to be the place to confront what’s most deep inside you?  This means, however, that you have the power to confront your darkest side of you in your yoga practice.

It’s a place only for the bold, that is for sure… But ask yourself,

“what are you scared of?”

It is true that we hide our darkest parts deep within our bodies.  The best parts stay locked up in our joints and tightest places:  hips, necks, shoulders, backs, and even feet.  When moving through yoga with deep breath, these gems–these secrets–can become free…

Seriously.

Unlocked, their messages trace through our blood as the prana moves relentlessly through us in a vibrant yoga practice.  It is the best kept secret.

As these parts of you move through you, and you encounter your difficulties, you can embrace them as gifts.  To visit them and set them free, is truly a gift.  An angel.

If you do not, these dark secrets stay below (inside your underworld), unconsciously controlling you.  They cause you to repeat ugly patterns as “a fly mindlessly beating itself to a pulp bumping against a window through which it cannot pass…attempting to escape its misery,” as put by Absolute Palaver.

Don’t be scared.  You have the power.  It is you that you are unlocking.  The true you.

Namaste.

© r.e.l. 12/30/10

Photo by Matin Demiralay of Turkey — demiralaymetin@hotmail.com

do you wear a mask: are you a mystery?

/ my secret innuendo / 2 Comments

With the cooler fall weather arriving and Halloween around the corner, I am reminded of masks. I’m not thinking of costumes though in this moment, but of the idea underneath.  It is during these masquerade parties that we can play with the idea of hiding our identity and being another side of our psyche.

But, how many people actually hide behind a mask, although invisible, all the time?  It can be a negative idea.  Interestingly enough though, there is an art to living a balanced, healthy masquerade life.

What?

Some of us are an open book, while others gravitate toward being a mystery to others.  I myself prefer to a be a mystery, taking it slow as the self unwinds.

Anticipation grows, as do deeper feelings, as attempts are made to solve the mystery.  I find it painful (in an interesting and humorous way) to watch others project all of their own views on what they need me to be — filling in the gaps of the unknown — when not much is revealed.  Is the human need to connect with a blank slate really real?  Yes. In noticing this phenomena, along with the slowness I enjoy to relationship unfolding, I take much comfort in observing this.

For, they are the ones putting the mask on me, and not the other way around.  I am invincible and perfect, or I am quite the opposite if they have some unconscious darkness to clear, whom they need to love with all of their hate and can only do it while looking into a fictitious mirror called Me.

Don’t get me wrong, it is wonderful to be put on such a pedestal sometimes; in fact, this image can even have the power to manifest into a truth if I really believe it.  Hmmm…. maybe I should take these facades more seriously…

🙂

I’m not saying that I don’t do it too.  For, I do.  It is a fulfilling way to make the fantasy and dream come true!  For sure.

But removing the mask, which often entails an entire body armor of mind, body and soul, is best.  To see the true person as they are…

But, do it slowly as the best stuff does not show its truth when rushed.

chi va piano va sano va lontano
(who goes slowly, goes healthy)

~Italian proverb~

© r.e.l. 10/20/10