it was already yours

will you catch me
if i fall?
i am jaded by my past that haunts me
the wild are free
and unpredictable
and contagious
and luring

yes

i always love their mirrors
that show me
myself

it was already yours…

© r.e.l. 2/18/11

image by NINA-L

posted for Poetry Potluck week 23 (2/20-2/27/11)

posted for Poetry Picnic 10/16-10/22/11 on Gooseberry Garden

diving deep into my fears

I am now facing my fears… going off the edge to find myself in the depth of who I am.  If I am bold enough and I don’t turn back, this action will set me free.

In the dark shadows, I might sail through my depths as if a dream and find the silence I need in order to find the keys I have searched for all my life.  The best stuff is at the very bottom.

More conspicuous and offset against the darkness, the gems and secrets will be easier to see or feel.  Sometimes they will shine with luminosity like a beacon, and they have my name on them!

Maybe the bottom is a bed of soft sand which I can dig my bare feet into and feel rooted in myself like never before.  I can call it the ground of my soul.  To touch this part of me is to release all that I previously imagined was hidden.

It will then transform itself, no longer in the dark, if I invite it to be a part of my waking, conscious being.

Freedom lies in moving into those places that scare us most. We hold those fears not only in our unconscious minds;  they show up in one form or another in our bodies.

I intend to isolate the manifestation of my fears as they disguise themselves and ail me with tension.  Like an instinctual animal would, I will shake it off to get it out of me.

I will not let the ailment which arises define who I am. My blood, or my chi (Chinese medicine), should move freely and uninhibited as it bathes me with its life force.

Yoga and meditation help me.  Yoga nidra is a guided visualization that takes one into the state of “wakeful” deep sleep.  It is a sleep-like state that includes relaxation as well as the psychology of dream, sleep and yoga.  This was a helpful guide to me just today.

© r.e.l. 9/6/10

Inspired by freediver Guillaume Nery and an amazing yoga class I just took today.