i am a silent observer
of you..
when you least expect it
you will feel someone
peering into
your soul
© r.e.l. 12/2/10
“Kevala kumbhaka transfixed inspiration melts us, ” as eloquently put by Stuart Sovatsky in his book, Your Perfect Lips: A Spiritual-Erotic Memoir.
Spontaneously breathless awe or serenity is what life should be about. In every moment, in all that we do. Can you imagine this?
Just the happy days, with freedom and no plans for what will be. Does it seem possible? It is in a feeling, not to be described with usual words spoken to describe life.
The sense that you lose your breath and it doesn’t matter. Your heart stops to stare at time in a moment that also stops. It is Tantra.
It melts me to think of how you would be here this morning, but this memory is only a moment in time — a time that happens any time. So, I let go of time.
I feel your wind whisper to me anyway in my transfixed melting moment dans ma cœur. Thank you.
© r.e.l. 10/14/10
So what does wholeness look like to me? I thought this summary I played with recently was a wonderful way to describe my view on this subject. For it is when I am depicting all of these words at once, as taken from my personal blog I write here (generated by a tool called Wordle), that I feel most whole.
I can get a cue as to what I avoid in life, in my search for wholeness, if I watch what it is I try to withhold to others in my conversations. These are my truths which I run from and hide even from myself, as I lack confidence to orate them. The fear is controlled by my unconscious. These are the inner truths that point to my fear of being who I truly am, as Neil Legault quotes:
Catch yourself trying to avoid telling someone your truth about yourself and you will see how you hide yourself from life. This is the pointer that shows you your fear of being who you truly are.
I seek to bring myself into wholeness by merging my mind with my spiritual beliefs. The two act aside each other naturally, and when the dark clouds come, I have to work diligently in meditation to remember the sun is always shining above it — something greater than me.
© r.e.l. 10/10/10
Coming into wholeness. What does that mean? To feel yourself at peace, in love and at one with your path in life.
It is possible to find this peace from within yourself — not relying on another person or object. Allow yourself to let go of all the impediments that make your mind over-think, fear and worry. Without all of the excess, you are free!
You can access this freedom any time, in fact! The truest side of who you are, undisturbed, coexists with the emotional mind…
A metaphor… Imagine 3 buckets of water.
The sun is shining in all 3, and they each enjoy the sun equally.
Reflection in the first bucket is dim and dull, in the second is agitated, and in the third is peaceful.
Where the sun is the Self, the water is the mind, and the reflection is the Ego (mis-identification), we can make some conclusions.
My true self is a constant that is independent of how my mind is acting. If I appear to reflect “muddy water” I see dullness and depression. If I appear to reflect agitation, I will feel like I’m breaking apart in pieces. If I appear to reflect stillness and clarity, however, I will feel a profound peacefulness with my Self and feel at one.
So, if I am seeing muddy water, or water that is stirred up, how do I calm it? The answer is to calm the rajas (activity, motion and irritation in the mind) and the tamas (inert and dullness in the mind), so that you can feel the sattva (the purity of the mind). Rajas and tamas create imbalance. Yoga, meditation or other physical activity / mental-calming activities will do the trick.
For more on dream interpretation and meditative imagery interpretation, read here.
Independent of what is reflected by the mind, the sun is always shining and I am always whole. I just have to know it, feel it and identify with it.
© r.e.l. 9/22/10
Inspired by the teachings of Advaita Vedanta, Sankhya Yoga and the Upanishads…
you sit with me
and we gaze at the moon
from afar
it is the same moon
and invisible
i am
to you
yet i hope my flower
reaches your heart
in this moment
i picked it for you
© r.e.l. 9/4/10
Featured in All Things Poetic, Artistic, Philosophical on redbubble
As yoga speaks the poetry of your body, words speak the poetry of your 
soul. Yoga and words go well together. Remember that any type of activity can also be a way of living your yoga.
No doubt you are no stranger to a community of poets and those who like to verbally relay their words to others. Many have a vibrant and active lifestyle to go along with this love of words, don’t they! The two seem to go together well…
Like the wind off a clear blue lake blows its answers to the mountains, take time to whisper the secrets to your heart, listening to every touch with your sacred ears. Sit and listen as the words write themselves onto the page. There are no mistakes here. It is all a rendition of your truth that you write down to share, so that you can touch… something other than the normal, regular you.
As you move the prana (i.e., your life force) in your body, working through the chakras and experience your purpose in the moment, your desires, your energy and your heart, you will most likely find the words of your soul whispering to you gently.
As you continue moving, whether it be in a yoga practice, a hike, or some other means of moving your body, you eventually can surrender to this energy you’ve activated as it clears out all that gets in the way of knowing your true intuitions and spirit connection. This will probably happen whether you are paying attention or not. In fact, there is no will required for this endeavor. Just be who you are.
If you’re really in tune with the feelings moving through you, you can see, hear, sense and know through your watchfulness that it is possible that you actually really know who you are.
Yes, it’s true. So, don’t refuse to whisper these words. You will undoubtedly touch someone, even unsuspectingly, if not a very important person: you. Even if you only reach one person, besides yourself, this journey through words is all worth it.
And if you find that no words come to you, then receive the gift of the inability to find words. 🙂
Namaste.
© r.e.l. 8/2/10
Dear heart, sometimes I wonder who I am. I feel like I’ve never done this before, like I am new to love. Sometimes I get too nervous as if my vulnerable child is coming out of her shell for the first time. And when I do, I feel like a hummingbird alone in the rain.
A silent moment asks me to
breathe in all that I feel and ‘stay with me please’ with eyes looking into me. The answer is in the presence. To really feel the present moment with ease is to not worry about anything else but it. The answer is to not worry about needing to describe it in words, to anyone else or to myself. Those who share the moment too, will know exactly what I mean anyway. Silence speaks with a swirling energy between two people anyway, whether they are touching, across a room, or across the world. In that presence, another spirit is born… left to float off into the clouds at sunset but never to stop penetrating the everlasting moment.
© r.e.l. 7/24/10
Photo of Minnesota sunset by Michele Kamenar
Featured in Love Bytes on redbubble
is it me
for a moment
who leads you?
are you looking for me now
inside
some way… without defining how?
did you know that
i sit next to you now
in the tiniest house of time?
who am i to lead you…
i don’t know
but it is happening
still
© r.e.l. 7/21/10
photo from ‘The Fountain’ movie.
inspired by Kabir.
Featured in Speaking Out on redbubble
I am ever-chan
ging. In this moment I seem to be in the middle of a silent breath between states.
I appreciate many forms of life: people, viewpoints, spirituality, yoga, words. I notice that it is common for people to tag a style of being in the world, which then closes them off to other inspirations that could come spontaneously, from afar, from within, or sometimes right in front of their own face.
There is a misty quality to knowing you are on the right path, regardless of the unknown.
I follow the mist……..
There are as many ways to grow and evolve as to be uncountable. We all have our own way, and to follow another’s way is to not fully engage with your own inner guidance. I am influenced by many modes of thought but always, in the end, I follow my own truth.
listen my love,
illumination is eternal.
now is always evolving.
as there are billions of stars,
there are billions of steps.
as there are billions of souls,
there are billions of ways to grow.
~Rumi~
In fact, my yoga practice has taught me this as well. With my many experiences with yoga styles and traditions, in the end I most enjoy the vinyasa flow style which allows me to organically lead myself to where I’m headed in that moment. This leads me to my own way of growing.
I listen to my body as I would music, as I move and unlock the secret messages hidden within the spaces of my being.
I am listening now. It whispers to me that the answer is to keep listening.
© r.e.l. 6/19/10
i had no choice
but to move forward on my path
finding love in my heart
fearlessly opening to life
as i returned again
to the land
that was like a father to me
giving me life situations i needed
that were meant for me to progress
and seemed to have
the same heartbeat as my own heart.
along “the way” i was led to silence
a peace that i had never known
and a truth that will remain
with me
as magic
forever
begging my return.
© r.e.l. 4/24/10
inspired by the Road to Santiago, Spain–“The Way”
to disconnect from you
my heart stops a little
as if a part of me given… yet unreceived
and i leave myself behind
to watch with no voice
looking back as if a dream.
then you flap 
your wings
and come to me
no time passed
and you remind me
we are both sharing the same wind
i am resting, maybe sleeping
always feeling
the force that moves between us
and through things
held together
only by air.
© r.e.l. 4/21/10
**this post is for Poetry Potluck Week 15 (reflections, interpretations, and musings) on Jingle Poetry
Winner of The Celebrate Poet of 2010 Award (with Promising Poets and Jingle Poetry)
through the vines
connecting my blood to infinity
i move so that i can water
your roots.
they reach out to me so…
each with its own strength, its own sound
its own breath, its own life
yet moving together as one.
i find you
where you are raw
not dark
but vulnerable
needing to be held
to feel safe
my breath, my attention
to your every need
your every call for touch
to be an open room
for you to pour your soul into.
you ask that of me
and i hear you.
your warmth has the power to soothe
and pierce me
to puncture the balloon
where i keep my secrets
can you feel it now?
as a bit seeps out
released in the air, to the open
to find its way
no longer trapped, no longer secret.
a veil between you and me
its thin yet it covers
that which we need to protect
until time opens its wings for our flight.
© r.e.l. 4/7/10
inspired by an embodied meditation at CIIS
Featured on Touched By Fire on redbubble
my secret innuendo® 
