unknown

mountains or pebbles

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Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to  stumble.

Why give the pebble such power over you.  Do what you have to do to simply get past it so that you open the door to the next dream in your heart.

Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.

It is as simple as you let it be.  Trust that the unknown can guide you, if in it, you feel awe or fear of knowing the happiness you withhold from yourself.

Even in darkness you can find the pebbles that haunt you.  Pick them up with your small hands and toss them aside, or transform them into something precious by thanking them for their lessons.  Their lessons are your gifts.

Surrender to the dream you were meant to be.

[inspired by an unknown author]

© r.e.l. 10/16/10

 

dusty shadows

/ my secret innuendo / 15 Comments

shadows
you are covered with dust
aren’t you… but i visit you now
anyway
to see you, like an old friend
whom i’ve lost
you know that you’ve hidden from me all this time

but now, better not to quench your thirst

what i see … is … my wind
that will expose the ashes and bareness left behind

you breathe in the deepest part of the water
but it’s ok
the dust leaves a mountain, and a place
to see your golden shadow

“in giving you are throwing a bridge across the chasm of your solitude..”
~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry~ (from The Wisdom of the Sands)

© r.e.l. 9/29/10

inspired by a mountain of sand and the song Undertow by Warpaint

posted for Poetry Potluck 6/5-6/11/11 “Inspired by a Song” on Jingle Poetry

the art of letting go: speaking with your unconscious

/ my secret innuendo / 1 Comment

Continuing on from coming into wholeness… I want to talk about the unconscious.  It is here that we are driven.  The largest part  of our psyche is the unconscious, in the same way that most of an iceberg is actually underwater.  A lot of the unconscious is the “shadow,” according to Jung.

The art of “letting go” is the way we drop our worries and pinpointed desires from our minds so that they no longer control us.  All that we try to let go, all the activity in our minds that over-thinks, all the agitation, and all that keeps us from reaching our dreams is sourced here in the unconscious.

It is normally not so simple to overcome.  If we are not able to express ourselves from the core of who we are because we feel uncomfortable doing so, and we are not sure why, it’s because we are blocked.

Dreams are a wonderful way to access our unconscious. Dream interpretation is a way to talk to this “person” who is dreaming.  To enter into any sort of dialog with the dream, regardless of the philosophy, is a step toward unleashing the material from your unconscious mind and allowing it to settle in the conscious mind.

Once this unconscious material is freed, regardless of your method, you will most likely feel a range of emotions from elation to discomfort.  Don’t be alarmed by this, as it will pass quickly 🙂  It is all part of the process of moving the energy…

The unconscious can be reached in deep meditation too, even as meditation-in-motion in a strong yoga asana practice which leads to mental and emotional stillness.  The trick is to stay focused on the right meditative tools so that you can train your mind to observe unconsciously as the energy unfolds while you are awake.  It can be confusing while awake to determine which is conscious and which is unconscious,  so this requires pure stillness in your mind in order to access it.

Alternatively, some people are able to enter into a dialog with their child self.

You can be sure that whatever is most important to you will come up in a dream or deep meditation! Figuring this out is the key.  It is sometimes not easy (or impossible) to remember dreams.  Setting an intention before sleeping, as well as creating a special dream log book with a flashlight is a start to getting in the groove of remembering.  As you give attention to your dreams, you will more easily remember them and all the details.

Interpreting the unconscious, whether in nighttime dreams or in meditation, can be fun as you learn your symbolism. It is fun to bounce the ideas off others too.  However, all symbols are yours alone.  Even though people have created symbolism dictionaries, the symbolism to each person is unique in its own way. [Although if you read one of these dictionaries, you will take on some of the symbolism!]  Once you have determined your own, it is fun figure out!

Even if you have a conscious recognition of unconscious material that feels disturbing, this can change completely if you figure out the source behind it all.  Once you do so, you will feel the shift on an emotional level!

All reaction is unconscious.  If you are conscious, you never react; you act. Action is conscious; reaction is unconscious.
~ Osho ~

© r.e.l. 9/23/10

words or sand?

/ my secret innuendo / 3 Comments

What has the internet done to our communications when love or friendships are involved?  When the internet is so easily accessible, it becomes the first mode of communication where words take on the greatest of meaning.  Do we become lost and literally zapped by the electromagnetic waves of the computer, losing touch with all other sources of reality that generate powerful feelings and connections in the first place?

To step aside from the exchange of words opens the mind to an extraordinary place where the conduit between two beings is instead in the stars and the cosmos.  This reality  brings a completely new aspect to a relationship that would not exist were it to simply revolve around communication via words.

Taking comfort in this unknown…

Love especially requires trust, touch, belief and full presence.  How easy is it, when the other is not by our side, to replace needs that love craves with intimacies only found in words?  Isn’t this a trap that has the potential to create craziness as the most tender and vulnerable moments arise and require immediacy?

What happened to the days of waiting months for a hand-written letter to arrive by horseback, with love in your heart?

Think about how hungry you can become for every word from a loved one, and how you desire complete dedication from this person.  You may want to see it all summarized, maybe on your computer screen, so that your heart is complete!  But is this possible?  Isn’t it the energy emanating from the warm body that you desire, not words emanating from tin?  Yet, with this accessibility, maybe you will live as if it is completely possible to be fulfilled in this manner and pursue it!

However, there is much to be said without words… that which can be most easily transmitted with silence and/or eye contact.  While sitting right next to another person, eye to eye, we can feel reactions, reasons for hesitance and see the beauty in taking the time to say what is true in the moment (or transmit it in silence).

We can confirm what is true with words, but if we learn to put them aside and focus more on the unspoken, we can read a more powerful sentence… the energy of the universe.

To imagine a world consisting of sand and stars and people being those stars and connecting on that level is true unity…

© r.e.l. 9/21/10

i’ll hold you up

/ my secret innuendo / 2 Comments

hold on
open and true
only you know your power…

please don’t close yourself off
to the world
that works for you
in the shadows
unfolding something
magical
for you

you do not
want to miss it

look up into the sky tonight
it’s the place to leave your doubts
i’ll hold you up
in the first star you see

© r.e.l. 7/5/10

Featured in Speaking Out on redbubble

what i said is not what i mean

/ my secret innuendo / 4 Comments
I recently saw a quote from an online motivational writer which sparks my interest:

“I know you think you understand what I said, but what you don’t understand is what I said is not what I mean.”

At the same moment, I also saw this picture online, captured under the category of bridges over troubled water.

For some reason I feel the two have relation in what I’m trying to say to myself in this moment.

This bridge encapsulates a journey into the unknown somehow.  To walk out onto this bridge into the fog along a treacherous cliff along old cobblestone seems precarious to say the least.

Yet, it draws me in.  If I were faced with this bridge in this moment, I would surely put one step in front of the other and venture out onto it.

It metaphorically speaks to the wish to know more about the unknown, what I actually feel, and what loved ones actually mean behind their words.  We can find it difficult to put our thoughts together into words sometimes.  It is in this difficulty that our unsure words simply open up more questions and more uncertainty, as if the attempt to communicate with another takes the lid off of their secret bottle where they live.

It is true within our own selves as well.  In a strange way I feel that the way to find out the true meaning of what I am trying to say right now to myself can best be found by walking across this bridge in the mist.  If I sit out on that point, I think I will find the answer.

© r.e.l. 6/25/10

follow the mist

/ my secret innuendo / 1 Comment

I am ever-changing.  In this moment I seem to be in the middle of a silent breath between states.

I appreciate many forms of life: people, viewpoints, spirituality, yoga, words.  I notice that it is common for people to tag a style of being in the world, which then closes them off to other inspirations that could come spontaneously, from afar, from within, or sometimes right in front of their own face.

There is a misty quality to knowing you are on the right path, regardless of the unknown.

I follow the mist……..

There are as many ways to grow and evolve as to be uncountable.  We all have our own way, and to follow another’s way is to not fully engage with your own inner guidance.  I am influenced by many modes of thought but always, in the end, I follow my own truth.

listen my love,
illumination is eternal.
now is always evolving.
as there are billions of stars,
there are billions of steps.
as there are billions of souls,
there are billions of ways to grow.
~Rumi~

In fact, my yoga practice has taught me this as well.  With my many experiences with yoga styles and traditions, in the end I most enjoy the vinyasa flow style which allows me to organically lead myself to where I’m headed in that moment.  This leads me to my own way of growing.

I listen to my body as I would music, as I move and unlock the secret messages hidden within the spaces of my being.

I am listening now.  It whispers to me that the answer is to keep listening.

© r.e.l. 6/19/10