contemplation

finding the right work-life balance… to ensure happiness, health, and well-being

/ my secret innuendo / 1 Comment

Are you a workaholic?  Do you tell yourself that you work extra hours because you really need the money, or that your job really needs you, and that it’s ok to take care of all of “this” and not yourself?  Because you do know that if you are working too much, you are acting like you are not very important.

If you need rationale outside of yourself in order to ease up, remember that NO ONE really gets the best of you anyway if you don’t nurture yourself first.

Or do you, for one reason or another, find yourself addicted to your computer whether it’s work or personal?

Maybe, without knowing it, you are covering up something basic in your existence and doing it through your work.  Staying busy all the time with your work, as your purpose, can be like a drug that you continually allow to drive you.  But you can beat it if you recognize who you really are.

Important facets of livelihood:

Balance.

Work some / play some, be around people / be alone, talk / think silently, be analytical / be poetic, yin / yang.

Exercise.

Moving your body is to move your mind too, as your cells flow through you and renew you.  Stagnant or blocked energy can make its way through to expression as your life force regenerates and frees you.

Eating habits.

The nutritional value of the food you put into your body, as well as the timing of it fuel the kind of person you become.  Drinking pure water as often as you can during the day is a tremendous boost too.  If you let blood sugar levels drop without paying attention, or if you let yourself get head rushes from too much stress (or caffeine), you can be harming yourself.  Pay attention to the calories you intake to make sure they will get you through the day before it’s too late.  Otherwise, unhealthy cravings appear as do routines that will lead you down the wrong path.

Silence.

Are you able to sit alone with yourself, hearing nothing but your own thoughts?  Can you sit there alone, doing nothing else, and eventually calm your thoughts? Learning to be alone and silent with yourself is just as important as any other nurturing activity in your life.  You should set aside time in each day to do nothing but be silent and go inside yourself.  Listen to yourself so that you can learn your magic that only you have the power to unleash.

Social life.

Getting out of the normal working routine and mixing it up with friends is a great way to balance out your life.  Better yet, do not even mention your work when you are socializing.  And get out of the normal workplace as well.

Emotions.

Take time to express emotions that come to you, whether they are desire, happiness or anger.  Blowing off steam with a healthy breathing routine, or running around the block, can help you tremendously with anger management.  Calling a friend and having a good cry can be so releasing for your spirit.  Writing a poem, watching a sunset, or vacuuming can too.  Whatever it takes, whenever emotions arise…  It’s important to express them in a healthy way.

Be easy on yourself.  Break rules sometimes.

Rules are meant to be broken, especially if you are used to following them.  And this holds true for your mind too.  You don’t have to the perfect meditator, perfect parent, perfect yogi, or perfect anything.  The whole list in this article, in fact, is about living a good life, but sometimes we need to have some vices or most importantly give ourselves a break in order to meet the best balance!

Ommm

© r.e.l. 10/4/10

[If you liked this article, I suggest “a stressfree life“]

the art of letting go: speaking with your unconscious

/ my secret innuendo / 1 Comment

Continuing on from coming into wholeness… I want to talk about the unconscious.  It is here that we are driven.  The largest part  of our psyche is the unconscious, in the same way that most of an iceberg is actually underwater.  A lot of the unconscious is the “shadow,” according to Jung.

The art of “letting go” is the way we drop our worries and pinpointed desires from our minds so that they no longer control us.  All that we try to let go, all the activity in our minds that over-thinks, all the agitation, and all that keeps us from reaching our dreams is sourced here in the unconscious.

It is normally not so simple to overcome.  If we are not able to express ourselves from the core of who we are because we feel uncomfortable doing so, and we are not sure why, it’s because we are blocked.

Dreams are a wonderful way to access our unconscious. Dream interpretation is a way to talk to this “person” who is dreaming.  To enter into any sort of dialog with the dream, regardless of the philosophy, is a step toward unleashing the material from your unconscious mind and allowing it to settle in the conscious mind.

Once this unconscious material is freed, regardless of your method, you will most likely feel a range of emotions from elation to discomfort.  Don’t be alarmed by this, as it will pass quickly 🙂  It is all part of the process of moving the energy…

The unconscious can be reached in deep meditation too, even as meditation-in-motion in a strong yoga asana practice which leads to mental and emotional stillness.  The trick is to stay focused on the right meditative tools so that you can train your mind to observe unconsciously as the energy unfolds while you are awake.  It can be confusing while awake to determine which is conscious and which is unconscious,  so this requires pure stillness in your mind in order to access it.

Alternatively, some people are able to enter into a dialog with their child self.

You can be sure that whatever is most important to you will come up in a dream or deep meditation! Figuring this out is the key.  It is sometimes not easy (or impossible) to remember dreams.  Setting an intention before sleeping, as well as creating a special dream log book with a flashlight is a start to getting in the groove of remembering.  As you give attention to your dreams, you will more easily remember them and all the details.

Interpreting the unconscious, whether in nighttime dreams or in meditation, can be fun as you learn your symbolism. It is fun to bounce the ideas off others too.  However, all symbols are yours alone.  Even though people have created symbolism dictionaries, the symbolism to each person is unique in its own way. [Although if you read one of these dictionaries, you will take on some of the symbolism!]  Once you have determined your own, it is fun figure out!

Even if you have a conscious recognition of unconscious material that feels disturbing, this can change completely if you figure out the source behind it all.  Once you do so, you will feel the shift on an emotional level!

All reaction is unconscious.  If you are conscious, you never react; you act. Action is conscious; reaction is unconscious.
~ Osho ~

© r.e.l. 9/23/10

words or sand?

/ my secret innuendo / 3 Comments

What has the internet done to our communications when love or friendships are involved?  When the internet is so easily accessible, it becomes the first mode of communication where words take on the greatest of meaning.  Do we become lost and literally zapped by the electromagnetic waves of the computer, losing touch with all other sources of reality that generate powerful feelings and connections in the first place?

To step aside from the exchange of words opens the mind to an extraordinary place where the conduit between two beings is instead in the stars and the cosmos.  This reality  brings a completely new aspect to a relationship that would not exist were it to simply revolve around communication via words.

Taking comfort in this unknown…

Love especially requires trust, touch, belief and full presence.  How easy is it, when the other is not by our side, to replace needs that love craves with intimacies only found in words?  Isn’t this a trap that has the potential to create craziness as the most tender and vulnerable moments arise and require immediacy?

What happened to the days of waiting months for a hand-written letter to arrive by horseback, with love in your heart?

Think about how hungry you can become for every word from a loved one, and how you desire complete dedication from this person.  You may want to see it all summarized, maybe on your computer screen, so that your heart is complete!  But is this possible?  Isn’t it the energy emanating from the warm body that you desire, not words emanating from tin?  Yet, with this accessibility, maybe you will live as if it is completely possible to be fulfilled in this manner and pursue it!

However, there is much to be said without words… that which can be most easily transmitted with silence and/or eye contact.  While sitting right next to another person, eye to eye, we can feel reactions, reasons for hesitance and see the beauty in taking the time to say what is true in the moment (or transmit it in silence).

We can confirm what is true with words, but if we learn to put them aside and focus more on the unspoken, we can read a more powerful sentence… the energy of the universe.

To imagine a world consisting of sand and stars and people being those stars and connecting on that level is true unity…

© r.e.l. 9/21/10

can you find stillness and not stiffness?

/ my secret innuendo / 2 Comments

Can you find stillness in your life and not stiffness? It is during the most challenging times in life that we test this theory out.  But we can teach ourselves to do it the right way, with softness.

Yoga is a great place to work on this.  Some yoga classes are all about moving fluidly with your watery nature, and like a dance you find your way to a place of balance.  This feels great and can also help us flow better with life, learning to move with what we are dealt and become one with it.

Life, however, deals us chaos and challenge sometimes.  A challenging yoga class can help you mimic this challenge and give you the chance to relax into it and come out ahead of the game with your head on your shoulders.

A serious Ashtanga yoga class can be a place to find stillness and calm.  When the teacher instructs with their voice or their rhythm to be serious, can you allow yourself to find softness in the strength?  This is important, especially in your neck and trapezius muscles that support your neck — a common place to hold tension.  Can you find the perfect balance between expansion and contraction of your muscles so that the end result is soft and still?  If you cannot, your yoga could be harming you.

Can you find this perfect balance in your mind?  In your spirit?  It takes a lot of patience to traverse your oceans of time…

Now, let’s talk about other activities such as surfing.  Surfing requires a lot of focus on paddling and learning how to ride nature’s gem: the ocean.  She is pure fluid.  Can you find the strength in your muscles to protect you, fuel you, and help you get the most enjoyment possible, while still remaining soft and fluid, especially in the back of your neck?

What about sitting at your computer doing a simple physical act of typing, while heavily and emotionally involved in your topic.  Are you able to sit in balance?  What if you are in the physical presence of a person who makes you feel insane?  Are you able to stay balanced, soft and supple?

Are you able to take a step back and feel your tension and then remember that the key lies in softening, not in tension that only feeds anger?  It is easier said than done. But eventually it can be a natural response.

Life is a journey.  Yoga and other mindful activities can be a container for this journey. Having said that, your yoga practice can be a spiritual/psyche container while you are on your mat, and it can be a phenomenal experience at that!  🙂   But ultimately, you CAN take your yoga into your life and really live it and be real with it……

Be real.  It is the answer.  Learn to live your life in stillness, despite chaos.

silence is a source of great strength
~ Lao Tzu ~

© r.e.l. 9/15/10

diving deep into my fears

/ my secret innuendo / 11 Comments

I am now facing my fears… going off the edge to find myself in the depth of who I am.  If I am bold enough and I don’t turn back, this action will set me free.

In the dark shadows, I might sail through my depths as if a dream and find the silence I need in order to find the keys I have searched for all my life.  The best stuff is at the very bottom.

More conspicuous and offset against the darkness, the gems and secrets will be easier to see or feel.  Sometimes they will shine with luminosity like a beacon, and they have my name on them!

Maybe the bottom is a bed of soft sand which I can dig my bare feet into and feel rooted in myself like never before.  I can call it the ground of my soul.  To touch this part of me is to release all that I previously imagined was hidden.

It will then transform itself, no longer in the dark, if I invite it to be a part of my waking, conscious being.

Freedom lies in moving into those places that scare us most. We hold those fears not only in our unconscious minds;  they show up in one form or another in our bodies.

I intend to isolate the manifestation of my fears as they disguise themselves and ail me with tension.  Like an instinctual animal would, I will shake it off to get it out of me.

I will not let the ailment which arises define who I am. My blood, or my chi (Chinese medicine), should move freely and uninhibited as it bathes me with its life force.

Yoga and meditation help me.  Yoga nidra is a guided visualization that takes one into the state of “wakeful” deep sleep.  It is a sleep-like state that includes relaxation as well as the psychology of dream, sleep and yoga.  This was a helpful guide to me just today.

© r.e.l. 9/6/10

Inspired by freediver Guillaume Nery and an amazing yoga class I just took today.

to say to you

/ my secret innuendo / 6 Comments

it will all be ok…
your heart
exposed to the perilous space
which took your breath
led by that which
lures you into the current
you need
love directs your course
you know..

and it is no mistake
that you felt him looking at you
as if looking through
knowing all in an instant
that day
more than once
as if to say to you silently
yet directly
some day you will be mine

© r.e.l. 7/27/10

Posted for Poetry Picnic 8/28-9/3/11 on Gooseberry Garden

 

a stress free life

/ my secret innuendo / 1 Comment

Do you wake in the morning and tell yourself that today will be the day that you will really take your health to another level? One idea to ponder is why you would wait. Any moment can be a time to set your intention. You might wait because you are too stressed at the idea of changing.

A healthy life makes you feel great but activities that drive our personalities can interfere with health, some of which feed addictive behaviors, stress, overindulgence or even laziness. Although we all mean well and fully intend to do what our heart tells us to do, is following every inclination at every moment actually following your heart and acting with your best health in mind?

There are many different facets included in health. Those that require motivation for some of you such as diet, exercise and mind-calming activities are part of it, but if you are stressed about the plan you have for yourself or the goal you wish to achieve, then maybe you are going about it in the wrong way for you.

If your plan is to drastically cut out all of the poison in your life all at once, and trade it for regimented goodness, and this makes you crazy in your mind, then perhaps there is a better solution for you.

We are talking about your body, mind, heart and spirit. A plan for health needs to include each or else a part of you will attack the plan, so to say, and never start, or fulfill a part of it while another part becomes detrimental to your health.

Stress can eat away at your insides and definitely shows on the outside, so you can’t hide from it and you can’t hide it from others. What is most important is your internal appearance, which if nurtured, reflects to your whole being.

How about starting out slowly to come to terms with what will truly work for you. Spend a day alone dedicated completely to yourself simply to form your plan.

  • Drink a lot of water to hydrate and cleanse your system removing toxins.
  • Alkalinize a stressed body by nurturing yourself with foods that will increase your acidic pH such as lemon in your water, avocado, grapefruit and most greens to name a few.  This will leave you with more vibrancy and mental clarity.
  • Try to move slowly through your day paying attention to your feet on the ground as you move — preferably barefooted.
  • Yoga, pranayama breathing, meditation and music can assist you greatly in your effort.
  • Go for a walk along the beach and listen to the ocean waves soothe your soul and perhaps give you answers.

Slowly without trying you will find yourself formulating the formula for your stress free life. Keep a journal handy and write down whatever inspires you. If you’re lucky you’ll end the day with a wise mantra, a list or even a heart-opening poem. Without even knowing it you’ll probably feel a connection with your spirit and life force.

At this point, you will know what you need to do, and will do it with ease in a way which supports your life customized to you.

One final hint: don’t tell anyone your grand plan. You are doing this for yourself, not for anyone else 🙂  Others will notice the new you emanating from the old you in no time…

Namaste.

© r.e.l. 7/10/10

about balance in life

/ my secret innuendo / Leave a comment

Sometimes I feel like I am scattered in too many places, with too many activities and endeavors in my life.  Every day is different and I wonder if I have a lack of clarity on where I’m headed.

However, I realize with this question, I am comparing myself to those people who are fully dedicated to one area in their life.

When I remove the comparison to others, which is a necessary and healthy avenue to take, I realize the answer. I am fully balanced in my life.

A mother, a writer, a friend, a yogini, a spiritual seeker, a dreamer, a lover, a hiker, a surfer, an inspiration, a teacher, a graduate student, a music lover, a traveler, an explorer, a mystic, an artist, a silent loner, a social butterfly, a fast mover, a slow mover….forever enchanted.  The list goes on the more I think.

It’s all about balance.

I am on one path but have many tributaries in my river of life…  Each day I wake and decide in the moment which branch, like a root, to follow.  This grounds me into myself.

😉

© r.e.l. 7/4/10

 

receive your gift

/ my secret innuendo / 1 Comment

We go to yoga class. We start the class by making an intention. Then what?

Do we hold true to its energy every second of the class? No. We tuck it away in our heart and let it speak its own words to our soul.

For, the energy of a wish comes from within us and can hardly hide its wings when we are moving the prana as we move our bodies in twists and waves.

What we feel comes from within. Before the words even articulate themselves to our being, we know what it is we are trying to say.

Sometimes we are silenced. Sometimes this is a blessing. In this inability to find words, our soul is telling us to go deeper. Look into the still pond of your being. Do not always rely on words. Look to the swirling space that doesn’t want to hear your words and give it your thanks.

There is more to living.

Namaste.

© r.e.l. 6/29/10

what i said is not what i mean

/ my secret innuendo / 4 Comments
I recently saw a quote from an online motivational writer which sparks my interest:

“I know you think you understand what I said, but what you don’t understand is what I said is not what I mean.”

At the same moment, I also saw this picture online, captured under the category of bridges over troubled water.

For some reason I feel the two have relation in what I’m trying to say to myself in this moment.

This bridge encapsulates a journey into the unknown somehow.  To walk out onto this bridge into the fog along a treacherous cliff along old cobblestone seems precarious to say the least.

Yet, it draws me in.  If I were faced with this bridge in this moment, I would surely put one step in front of the other and venture out onto it.

It metaphorically speaks to the wish to know more about the unknown, what I actually feel, and what loved ones actually mean behind their words.  We can find it difficult to put our thoughts together into words sometimes.  It is in this difficulty that our unsure words simply open up more questions and more uncertainty, as if the attempt to communicate with another takes the lid off of their secret bottle where they live.

It is true within our own selves as well.  In a strange way I feel that the way to find out the true meaning of what I am trying to say right now to myself can best be found by walking across this bridge in the mist.  If I sit out on that point, I think I will find the answer.

© r.e.l. 6/25/10

follow the mist

/ my secret innuendo / 1 Comment

I am ever-changing.  In this moment I seem to be in the middle of a silent breath between states.

I appreciate many forms of life: people, viewpoints, spirituality, yoga, words.  I notice that it is common for people to tag a style of being in the world, which then closes them off to other inspirations that could come spontaneously, from afar, from within, or sometimes right in front of their own face.

There is a misty quality to knowing you are on the right path, regardless of the unknown.

I follow the mist……..

There are as many ways to grow and evolve as to be uncountable.  We all have our own way, and to follow another’s way is to not fully engage with your own inner guidance.  I am influenced by many modes of thought but always, in the end, I follow my own truth.

listen my love,
illumination is eternal.
now is always evolving.
as there are billions of stars,
there are billions of steps.
as there are billions of souls,
there are billions of ways to grow.
~Rumi~

In fact, my yoga practice has taught me this as well.  With my many experiences with yoga styles and traditions, in the end I most enjoy the vinyasa flow style which allows me to organically lead myself to where I’m headed in that moment.  This leads me to my own way of growing.

I listen to my body as I would music, as I move and unlock the secret messages hidden within the spaces of my being.

I am listening now.  It whispers to me that the answer is to keep listening.

© r.e.l. 6/19/10

victory of love over time

/ my secret innuendo / Leave a comment

I’m reading the book “The Time Traveler’s Wife” after seeing the movie a couple months ago.  It felt that somehow there is a message in it for my destiny — a sort of answer to my life.  Not that I am a time-traveler or know of one, but that I am fascinated by time and any talk of past, present and future relating in ways other than chronological.  I love to wrap my mind around Einstein’s thoughts on time and that there is no such thing as linear time; we made it up.

Of course it’s a love story that touches my heart.  He always returns to her. And there are similarities with her knowing she is doing what she has to do for love, despite the waiting and loneliness, that mimics my life. But it’s the notion of time that brings me to write now.

They meet in different stages of their life, spontaneously.  How often do I wonder what the person I love looked like and sounded like in future years, or in past years.  And how would we be together at different ages, different age gaps, and different stages of life.  It is a story to remind me that age and time do not matter when it comes to love.  Love is the victor in the end. True love is timeless and never ends.  It is the beginning and the ending.

© r.e.l. 6/16/10

 

from here

/ my secret innuendo / 14 Comments

from here
in the space absent of you
i have more power to give.

erased are your doubts
gone is the pressure
to be more than i am
for now i can see
that in you, you saw
a perfect soul
and it was me.

your answer to life was me
all questions answered
since the first day i came
into your heart
and i in you
you are a resonance
of my perfect heart
beating
you looked after me like a brother
a best friend.

i find now
that in letting go of something
there is a hidden treasure
to be found
in the experience.

i have found what means the most.

© r.e.l. 6/4/10

photo from Project 365 app: http://bit.ly/5G0JwQ (via Michele Kamenar)

this post is for Poetry Potluck Week 14 on Jingle Poetry

thanks so much to Jingle for this Best Poet Friend Award on Jingle Poetry


life is a journey

/ my secret innuendo / 1 Comment

Life is a journey. I intend to make it worthwhile.

With regards to this journey it is not important what the venue, physical activity, or endeavor, or even the goal. What we make of our experience is what counts. What matters is the lessons that remain with us after we have completed whatever it is we do and how we integrate this knowledge in our hearts back into the society in which we live. It is a true life meditation to keep lessons we learn inside us and never let the magic die.

“Everything you are against weakens you. Everything you are for empowers you” (Wayne Dyer). I have found this to be true. Like the The Secret, whatever you give your power to (even mentally), you make stronger.

I emulate my life in my yoga practice. I let myself fall to see what is on the other side of that moment. I take all of the positive powerful experiences I feel as a person onto the mat with me and play them out, so to speak, to fruition. I use the power of the energy I generate there to feed my experience, using its fuel to vaporize any false stories or inhibitions I may have about myself.

I reach a point where the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything is taking place as it should be, and this fills me with trust.

I know I have a question about life and that it will unfold as I breathe. With each step I will be open for new discovery in the next moment. Moving my body will unlock the fruits of the inquiry that I cannot know until it happens.

Why do trust? Because of the mere fact that I exist. I trust everything that is happening to me in my life. I let my body guide the way. This allows my heart to shine and my mind to take a backseat.

© r.e.l. 5/8/10