as if hidden, you are this

bluetreeI am hidden. Are you? As if to be hidden behind words that speak illusively, at all times, bouncing off buildings and walls. I shoot an arrow and it comes back to me. Some day.

Who are you anyway? Are you the words or are they merely what comes out when trying to speak? There is no time to leave important words unsaid. I speak of eloquence.

Inspirational times with comic undertones spark a tune in another. Sometimes. But, truly, it’s all for you. You who deserve to be timeless and unforgotten. You are where my eyes open to receive what I’m waking up to now. I am here now because you were there and smiled and felt.

Create. Create all you can be. Be creative. Be daring. Be you. I will walk with you, and you will walk with me. But don’t forget to be balanced, be calm and be all that you should be behind the eyes of you. Don’t tell anyone if you falter.

My calling is you, an obligation to fulfill. You are what begs to flow from me, knowing what to make of it along the way, unsuspecting. You occupy the space between sentences, between thoughts that hang and then drop.

You are my arrow I shot long ago. It came back to me with its secret. It told me with its fire: be the you that wakes up in the morning, still groggy, remembering what exactly went on the hours before while dreaming.

Your image burned in my brain fills me with the opposite of order that I need. I let you build up so that I can understand you better. You give me the power to say No. You allow my creative—my unknown—to surge, to cascade. You are endless and you are real. You make me want to write a story, phenomenal, of us. As a river raging knows my name with impatience trickling, in an instant I am known. Finally.

But it’s just me here now writing… and, all I have are my verses wondering how to get through to you. I seem to be writing as if from a distant land when I realize that life without you isn’t possible. I want to stay there in this moment forever. You are the river that I once swam up, I swim again. Stay with me, you whisper.

© r.e.l. 7/17/13

Published on Rebelle Society  5.10.14

[This is Behind the eyes of a writer™: A series, part fourteen. Continuing on from a dedication, part thirteen in Behind the eyes of a writer™ series, I tear you apart in pieces to unglue what you’ve become. Part fifteen in my Behind the eyes of a writer™ series is next]

the shape of you

myview950the shape of you
has a ghost
always with me
in my mind
your hand clasped in mine.
you give me your mind
to steer
i take it
there’s something of me in you.

until our story can continue, inevitably…
its metaphors already…
when in a gaze
all is known
all is accepted

i’m there with you then

© r.e.l. 1/5/14

Published on Medium 3/16/14

Published (first half) in Micropoetry 2/6/14

all i am, known

Image source: http://thebestgardening.com/maple-seed-deception/

All I am is because of you. These wheels that turn are dedicated to your presence, as your eyes—across waves and time—have been on me.

You kept me honest, and kept me brave. I became someone because of you. Do you want to know how? I will tell you if you promise to walk by my side.

I want you to reknow me in the present. I am a person more flawed and more sensitive and consumed. In this you will truly know me and all that I have become. My experiences have become me.

Sometimes I sit and wait, always watching, never veering from the inner smile that makes up my insides and only sometimes shows on my face. In these moments, I am content and I want you to feel—actually, I know you do—my moments.

Maybe it’s the wind that captures me or leaves flying through the air, sometimes landing on my toes, that allow me to know that you know. It’s not as if you know it all, but you know when. Not exactly what, but that yes, you feel me in this moment. I know it is shared.

You know how to feel my moments.

writing inspired by The English Patient

[Behind the eyes of a writer™: A series, part seventeen Continuing on from between the letters, part sixteen in Behind the eyes of a writer™ series, the space to find the words needs to be opened, calmly with confidence.. Part eighteen in my Behind the eyes of a writer™ series is next]

© r.e.l. 11/11/13

Image source: http://thebestgardening.com/maple-seed-deception/

Featured on redbubble’s VaVoom

Featured on redbubble’s Feminine Intent

submitted to The Poetic Bond IIII  7/12/14

it triumphs

Broken_Hearti know that look
that heart
that beats inside you
and dreams…

it loves
it craves
it hurts
it triumphs

i know that heart
like i know myself
it is you
it is me…

you wonder if
and when
and how it can be

to make your life
your way

you wait and feel
pray
and cry

but, you believe in your heart
in its mystery
in its unknown
you believe because i do too

© r.e.l. 10/3/13

for my daughter

as if you came here just to

twin_flameshe moved at a speed that allowed him to replace loss.

each morning from a painted scene to a dark bluff.

you’ll try your whole life to understand how a single person can affect you as much.

how it can seem as if you came here just to wait. years. knowing something then that you would later feel, at first illusive, later definitive. that it was your forever. the bridge was of time.

sometimes you just wait—your mind, your body and the silence. the backs of your eyes aching, but calmed with what will later be known as meant to be.

© r.e.l. 6/18/13

Featured in Feminine Intent on redbubble

Posted on Medium 3.18.14

cathedrals of dreaming

istanbul_underground_waterone thing i can be sure of. i feel like i’m under water, underground or under something when i imagine you.

sometimes when it’s late and i know i’m asleep, i also know that the cathedrals of me are open.

and, during those times, when i’m actually not asleep, but awake, you are with me. you whisper.

i can’t even say ‘yes’ now to your offers because i don’t know how.
yes.

am i dreaming?
yes, you’re in my dream come true.

i have conversations with you when you aren’t here.
it’s ok, i’m always there.

© r.e.l. 5/7/13

Posted on Medium 3.18.14

like smoke, of blue and green

Aurora+Borealis,+Alaska950

like the smoky light that passes by
inside me
my stomach, on edge
my senses, fluttering

as i hang thoughts
of us
on the baffling air
that defines our devotion

the time approaches
as we’ve planned
…and then i hear a voice inside speaking softly
but i’m not perfect enough yet. not today. one more day.

yet waiting, unfathomable

but, i know you
and all the reasons
as lessons
for them
for you
for me

so that in the end i
could have you

and still, i can’t help but get tangled up in the world of wondering why you aren’t here right now.

© r.e.l. 4/14/13

image source: mary mary

all in one long sentence

rose_q&aand so it goes…
there is so much to remember,
that as i sit here to think
nothing comes.
(at least in this moment)

yet, all—at the same time…

why is it that my body feels
all that is
all that was
all that will be again?

the truth is
that there are words to express
what you mean to me
but it would take a lifetime
to say
(all in one long sentence)

there is no question about it

© r.e.l. 4/6/13

photo by Alex Theory

submitted to Every Writer 3/7/14

submitted to caesura 2/5/14

featured in Freedom in Words & Art on Redbubble

featured in Freedom to Shine on Redbubble

featured in Feminine Intent on Redbubble

featured in Poetry*Daily (4/24/13 Twitter)

posted on Medium 3/18/14

posted on Micropoetry 7/12/14 for #remember theme

you had time to save me

hourglass

thank you is not the same
without you here
to stare into
to touch with my fingertips
lightly

seconds pass by loudly
as sand moves through time
enunciating each tick

impatiently, i allow my wandering senses
to embrace simple thoughts of you,
every memory relived

…a teardrop—of joy—on my pillow,
and i know i am reaching out
for your grasp
to taste you in a form
that exceeds words

yet you are an apparition
of time that happens,
but not here in my moment

dear illusion,
please show me where you and now coexist
so that i know

because i have learned
how to stop time…
i will find you
interlaced with me

never forgetting
that in the midst of it all
you found time to save me

all i have i will give to you
i will give you
me

© r.e.l. 3/12/13

Featured in Redbubble’s Vibration in Art and Verse – VAVoom!

Published (in part) on Micropoetry Society

that in i mixed with you

misty-mountain-forest
as soon as i told you
you wouldn’t let me go

touch me again
as i turn you inside out
dynamic and raw

drawn to climb into me with your eyes
smile speaking with textures, words uncovered

you know that already
you knew all along

lightly touching
our cells fuse

you know, as do i,
that in i
mixed with you
there is nothing to hide

all along we’ve been
a river containing all that we have tasted,
and verses to stories we have yet to ascend into
as mountains of a dream
that would be ours

© r.e.l. 3/7/13

as i remember

a_penwe met by accident.

not quite.

in all the ways i know
to explain what it meant
to watch my feelings
trickle down my logic
tease my soul
into believing i’m crazy
that day,

in a moment
my words [pause]
to express,

i can only explain
the paper
unused pen
blank screen
and feelings of you
still in the air
in me
as i remember

and how time
has a way
with the intrigue
of the heart

© r.e.l. 2/14/13