me

do you know?

/ my secret innuendo / Leave a comment

IMG_3422-0.JPGdo you know that i will lay my strength beside you and surrender?

do you know that i have it in me to wonder if it can be brave enough for you?

do you remember
that i miss you?

do you know that my smile was always for you? it was hidden at the bottom of me.

do you believe that i am typing these words just for you?

do you know that i dreamed i was wrapped in you last night?

do you ever think of my shadows or yours when you brush against me?

do you remember our silent moments that connected us despite our lack of patience?

do you believe that your eyes melted me each time then and still do?

© r.e.l. 9/14/14

that which rises

/ my secret innuendo / 2 Comments

echo_ocean3

you are that which rises.

and you know me to be the one who senses you now, a reprise.

did you know that i heard you last night when you spoke to me with your eyes?

you were the ocean then, yet not.

you were an ironic metaphor with clarity,

the kind that floats by unnoticed, hides in corners, or drops to the floor.

you were that which you cannot comprehend, even to yourself.

 

© r.e.l. 8/29/14

for someone special

…what if

/ my secret innuendo / 3 Comments

dreamsthatcometrueYou love the fire. You are it, moving quickly, emulating its spark. Your miles to go in your mind, before calmed, drive you. Transfixed on you I am.

Be you, be the you I have known. Smile at me until I melt into something else. You are beyond getting my attention. You make me know why I’m alive.

And now I’m on fire because when I first saw you, recently and not, I fell in love with you. All I knew from before, relived in a moment, rejoined with all that we created then, to be continued later. You smiled when you knew I loved you then. You knew. You know now.

© r.e.l. 3/25/13

Featured on Feminine Intent on Redbubble

Posted on Medium 3/18/14

a simple question

/ my secret innuendo / 2 Comments

heart_broke

what i really want to say

is too real

that you are more

than i can imagine ever knowing

all of.

why is it so hard to ask you

a simple question,

the only question i have?

i miss you when the time passes

and i’m scared of being left alone

with only my words.

i want to be the answer

you’ve searched for.

 

© r.e.l. 7/8/14

 

Posted (partial) on Micropoetry 8/15/14 for #heart theme

you are me, you are my chakras

/ my secret innuendo / Leave a comment

Transfixi don’t know you or how you do it, but when i’m not looking you trap me and hold me down. your arms are heaviness encapsulating me. your eyes look into me. and then i feel you grounding me, as each of my toes touch the floor at the same time and know their purpose. {root chakra}

i want you to understand something. it isn’t me, it’s you. i need you. i don’t want you to leave ever. i want to eat you up. i need to keep you close. {sacral chakra}

i have a hard time waiting, as if impatience is my path to you. run to me as i run to you, please. i’ll meet you there. hurry. i’m waiting. {solar plexus chakra}

with you i believe how precious the teardrop is. you feel me then. how could you not? i am full. i have been carrying the holes of you. i love you. {heart chakra}

do you know what i wish to say to you? how did you hear through my silent fog? it’s ok, i know how. {throat chakra}

i know before you know. it is a feeling. it’s knowlege. it’s truth. i would bet anything on it. circle back and find me. {third eye chakra}

you are like the candle flame that always burns, the one i cannot tell is you or me or we. {crown chakra}

© r.e.l. 6/17/14

Long version published on Rebelle Society 10.3.14

i want to sit back in our dream

/ my secret innuendo / Leave a comment

i want to sit back in our dream
in our chairs in the sun one afternoon
and just know we did it, the right thing.

when i finally said the right words
when you finally felt soothed and knew you could not return
to the life you once knew, nevermore.

when you finally said it right this time
you convinced me
your mind spoke, while drowning
and then it smiled, while crying
somehow getting through to me, it worked.

with me from that moment on
when i was there for you and you for me
in those moments when you heard my words
the time you looked in my eyes, pulled my arms around you closer.

you are the bright side of forever
a feeling that had been looking for me
it saw who i was
and sent me to you.

i had you
you saw me smile before you dashed off
knowing that my seconds would remain ingrained in your brain.

© r.e.l. 3/2/14

 

Submitted to the POETRY magazine

as if hidden, you are this

/ my secret innuendo / 11 Comments

bluetreeI am hidden. Are you? As if to be hidden behind words that speak illusively, at all times, bouncing off buildings and walls. I shoot an arrow and it comes back to me. Some day.

Who are you anyway? Are you the words or are they merely what comes out when trying to speak? There is no time to leave important words unsaid. I speak of eloquence.

Inspirational times with comic undertones spark a tune in another. Sometimes. But, truly, it’s all for you. You who deserve to be timeless and unforgotten. You are where my eyes open to receive what I’m waking up to now. I am here now because you were there and smiled and felt.

Create. Create all you can be. Be creative. Be daring. Be you. I will walk with you, and you will walk with me. But don’t forget to be balanced, be calm and be all that you should be behind the eyes of you. Don’t tell anyone if you falter.

My calling is you, an obligation to fulfill. You are what begs to flow from me, knowing what to make of it along the way, unsuspecting. You occupy the space between sentences, between thoughts that hang and then drop.

You are my arrow I shot long ago. It came back to me with its secret. It told me with its fire: be the you that wakes up in the morning, still groggy, remembering what exactly went on the hours before while dreaming.

Your image burned in my brain fills me with the opposite of order that I need. I let you build up so that I can understand you better. You give me the power to say No. You allow my creative—my unknown—to surge, to cascade. You are endless and you are real. You make me want to write a story, phenomenal, of us. As a river raging knows my name with impatience trickling, in an instant I am known. Finally.

But it’s just me here now writing… and, all I have are my verses wondering how to get through to you. I seem to be writing as if from a distant land when I realize that life without you isn’t possible. I want to stay there in this moment forever. You are the river that I once swam up, I swim again. Stay with me, you whisper.

© r.e.l. 7/17/13

Published on Rebelle Society  5.10.14

[This is Behind the eyes of a writer™: A series, part fourteen. Continuing on from a dedication, part thirteen in Behind the eyes of a writer™ series, I tear you apart in pieces to unglue what you’ve become. Part fifteen in my Behind the eyes of a writer™ series is next]

all i am, known

/ my secret innuendo / 6 Comments

Image source: http://thebestgardening.com/maple-seed-deception/

All I am is because of you. These wheels that turn are dedicated to your presence, as your eyes—across waves and time—have been on me.

You kept me honest, and kept me brave. I became someone because of you. Do you want to know how? I will tell you if you promise to walk by my side.

I want you to reknow me in the present. I am a person more flawed and more sensitive and consumed. In this you will truly know me and all that I have become. My experiences have become me.

Sometimes I sit and wait, always watching, never veering from the inner smile that makes up my insides and only sometimes shows on my face. In these moments, I am content and I want you to feel—actually, I know you do—my moments.

Maybe it’s the wind that captures me or leaves flying through the air, sometimes landing on my toes, that allow me to know that you know. It’s not as if you know it all, but you know when. Not exactly what, but that yes, you feel me in this moment. I know it is shared.

You know how to feel my moments.

writing inspired by The English Patient

[Behind the eyes of a writer™: A series, part seventeen Continuing on from between the letters, part sixteen in Behind the eyes of a writer™ series, the space to find the words needs to be opened, calmly with confidence.. Part eighteen in my Behind the eyes of a writer™ series is next]

© r.e.l. 11/11/13

Image source: http://thebestgardening.com/maple-seed-deception/

Featured on redbubble’s VaVoom

Featured on redbubble’s Feminine Intent

submitted to The Poetic Bond IIII  7/12/14

like smoke, of blue and green

/ my secret innuendo / Leave a comment

Aurora+Borealis,+Alaska950

like the smoky light that passes by
inside me
my stomach, on edge
my senses, fluttering

as i hang thoughts
of us
on the baffling air
that defines our devotion

the time approaches
as we’ve planned
…and then i hear a voice inside speaking softly
but i’m not perfect enough yet. not today. one more day.

yet waiting, unfathomable

but, i know you
and all the reasons
as lessons
for them
for you
for me

so that in the end i
could have you

and still, i can’t help but get tangled up in the world of wondering why you aren’t here right now.

© r.e.l. 4/14/13

image source: mary mary

covered in moss

/ my secret innuendo / 29 Comments

write with me
… as if i’m writing you
… as if i hear only your voice

your substance, your curves, your nuances, your eyes
as if for the first time
seeing me, perhaps
as a tiny particle of life in the ripple of a pond

it’s true, i remember the stars
when we first met

did you know that the cobble stones
on our path
each covered in moss
growing
alive
know that to provide direction
to you
is to cheat you of your trail of treasures in life?

… with your warm beaming clouds

listen to them
(.  .  .)
i do

© r.e.l. 5/27/12

Posted for Thursdays Poet Rally 6/6-6/13/12 on Hyde Park Poetry


as if i’ll know

/ my secret innuendo / 49 Comments

hear me
as if you feel
who i am…

as if you’re about
to melt
but don’t know how

as if you are the only person
who i’m speaking
to now

as if these words
mean something
maybe the world
to you

as if i’ll know
your heart is
beating faster

as if
your wish
just came true

© r.e.l. 1/7/12

image by s i m s h a

Posted for Thursday Poet’s Rally 1/12-/18/12 on Promising Poet’s Parking Lot

Recited live for Jonathan Montaldo poetry event at CIIS 2/28/12

Posted on Medium 3/18/14