i’m listening with my heart

you said you love me and then …
and then i breathe
inhale you
to find that your ‘no’ now is really fear
afraid of trusting the moment unfolding

the moment is beautiful, don’t you see
when i’m with you i see, i trust
when we’re apart sometimes it’s hard for me
it is like a bird flying away that i cannot capture
light yet i have a cage

trust me to return to you
i trust you
i’m on my way back already

you are weak and need me now most
i’m afraid to say so
you want to be in control and the one who decides
not the invisible hand of destiny
softly, she touches my life..
she knows you
yes, she is who i recognize in you

you leave me now with no voice
i am here to listen to your heart’s whisper
shhhhhhh
i feel your heart
silence is real

© r.e.l. 10/27/10

written together with Wingpoem

Featured on The Wonderful World of Words on redbubble


i wrote this for you

I read this just now on a random blog and it touched me so:

i need you to understand something.
i wrote this for you.
i wrote this for you and only you.
everyone else who reads it, doesn’t get it.
they may think they get it, but they don’t.
this is the sign you’ve been looking for.
you were meant to read these words.
~anonymous author of I Wrote This For You~

It’s amazing to me that something as anonymous and vague can be so touching.  It speaks to my heart that writes to another, and sometimes goes unread.  Even if the reason is more heartfelt than ever.  How precious words are… that they can create the virtual person you love, that vanishes with a poof when reaching out to touch the imaginary ghost, which can leave you heartbroken.  How vulnerable words can be too, to be left hanging.

 

do you wear a mask: are you a mystery?

With the cooler fall weather arriving and Halloween around the corner, I am reminded of masks. I’m not thinking of costumes though in this moment, but of the idea underneath.  It is during these masquerade parties that we can play with the idea of hiding our identity and being another side of our psyche.

But, how many people actually hide behind a mask, although invisible, all the time?  It can be a negative idea.  Interestingly enough though, there is an art to living a balanced, healthy masquerade life.

What?

Some of us are an open book, while others gravitate toward being a mystery to others.  I myself prefer to a be a mystery, taking it slow as the self unwinds.

Anticipation grows, as do deeper feelings, as attempts are made to solve the mystery.  I find it painful (in an interesting and humorous way) to watch others project all of their own views on what they need me to be — filling in the gaps of the unknown — when not much is revealed.  Is the human need to connect with a blank slate really real?  Yes. In noticing this phenomena, along with the slowness I enjoy to relationship unfolding, I take much comfort in observing this.

For, they are the ones putting the mask on me, and not the other way around.  I am invincible and perfect, or I am quite the opposite if they have some unconscious darkness to clear, whom they need to love with all of their hate and can only do it while looking into a fictitious mirror called Me.

Don’t get me wrong, it is wonderful to be put on such a pedestal sometimes; in fact, this image can even have the power to manifest into a truth if I really believe it.  Hmmm…. maybe I should take these facades more seriously…

🙂

I’m not saying that I don’t do it too.  For, I do.  It is a fulfilling way to make the fantasy and dream come true!  For sure.

But removing the mask, which often entails an entire body armor of mind, body and soul, is best.  To see the true person as they are…

But, do it slowly as the best stuff does not show its truth when rushed.

chi va piano va sano va lontano
(who goes slowly, goes healthy)

~Italian proverb~

© r.e.l. 10/20/10

mountains or pebbles

Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to  stumble.

Why give the pebble such power over you.  Do what you have to do to simply get past it so that you open the door to the next dream in your heart.

Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.

It is as simple as you let it be.  Trust that the unknown can guide you, if in it, you feel awe or fear of knowing the happiness you withhold from yourself.

Even in darkness you can find the pebbles that haunt you.  Pick them up with your small hands and toss them aside, or transform them into something precious by thanking them for their lessons.  Their lessons are your gifts.

Surrender to the dream you were meant to be.

[inspired by an unknown author]

© r.e.l. 10/16/10

 

breathless inspiration

Kevala kumbhaka transfixed inspiration melts us, ” as eloquently put by Stuart Sovatsky in his book, Your Perfect Lips: A Spiritual-Erotic Memoir.

Spontaneously breathless awe or serenity is what life should be about.  In every moment, in all that we do.  Can you imagine this?

Just the happy days, with freedom and no plans for what will be.  Does it seem possible?  It is in a feeling, not to be described with usual words spoken to describe life.

The sense that you lose your breath and it doesn’t matter.  Your heart stops to stare at time in a moment that also stops. It is Tantra.

It melts me to think of  how you would be here this morning, but this memory is only a moment in time — a time that happens any time.  So, I let go of time.

I feel your wind whisper to me anyway in my transfixed melting moment dans ma cœur.  Thank you.

© r.e.l. 10/14/10

is this me? moving toward, moving away…

So what does wholeness look like to me? I thought this summary I played with recently was a wonderful way to describe my view on this subject.  For it is when I am depicting all of these words at once, as taken from my personal blog I write here (generated by a tool called Wordle), that I feel most whole.

I can get a cue as to what I avoid in life, in my search for wholeness, if I watch what it is I try to withhold to others in my conversations. These are my truths which I run from and hide even from myself, as I lack confidence to orate them. The fear is controlled by my unconscious.  These are the inner truths that point to my fear of being who I truly am, as Neil Legault quotes:

Catch yourself trying to avoid telling someone your truth about yourself and you will see how you hide yourself from life.  This is the pointer that shows you your fear of being who you truly are.

I seek to bring myself into wholeness by merging my mind with my spiritual beliefs.  The two act aside each other naturally, and when the dark clouds come, I have to work diligently in meditation to remember the sun is always shining above it — something greater than me.

© r.e.l. 10/10/10

 

finding the right work-life balance… to ensure happiness, health, and well-being

Are you a workaholic?  Do you tell yourself that you work extra hours because you really need the money, or that your job really needs you, and that it’s ok to take care of all of “this” and not yourself?  Because you do know that if you are working too much, you are acting like you are not very important.

If you need rationale outside of yourself in order to ease up, remember that NO ONE really gets the best of you anyway if you don’t nurture yourself first.

Or do you, for one reason or another, find yourself addicted to your computer whether it’s work or personal?

Maybe, without knowing it, you are covering up something basic in your existence and doing it through your work.  Staying busy all the time with your work, as your purpose, can be like a drug that you continually allow to drive you.  But you can beat it if you recognize who you really are.

Important facets of livelihood:

Balance.

Work some / play some, be around people / be alone, talk / think silently, be analytical / be poetic, yin / yang.

Exercise.

Moving your body is to move your mind too, as your cells flow through you and renew you.  Stagnant or blocked energy can make its way through to expression as your life force regenerates and frees you.

Eating habits.

The nutritional value of the food you put into your body, as well as the timing of it fuel the kind of person you become.  Drinking pure water as often as you can during the day is a tremendous boost too.  If you let blood sugar levels drop without paying attention, or if you let yourself get head rushes from too much stress (or caffeine), you can be harming yourself.  Pay attention to the calories you intake to make sure they will get you through the day before it’s too late.  Otherwise, unhealthy cravings appear as do routines that will lead you down the wrong path.

Silence.

Are you able to sit alone with yourself, hearing nothing but your own thoughts?  Can you sit there alone, doing nothing else, and eventually calm your thoughts? Learning to be alone and silent with yourself is just as important as any other nurturing activity in your life.  You should set aside time in each day to do nothing but be silent and go inside yourself.  Listen to yourself so that you can learn your magic that only you have the power to unleash.

Social life.

Getting out of the normal working routine and mixing it up with friends is a great way to balance out your life.  Better yet, do not even mention your work when you are socializing.  And get out of the normal workplace as well.

Emotions.

Take time to express emotions that come to you, whether they are desire, happiness or anger.  Blowing off steam with a healthy breathing routine, or running around the block, can help you tremendously with anger management.  Calling a friend and having a good cry can be so releasing for your spirit.  Writing a poem, watching a sunset, or vacuuming can too.  Whatever it takes, whenever emotions arise…  It’s important to express them in a healthy way.

Be easy on yourself.  Break rules sometimes.

Rules are meant to be broken, especially if you are used to following them.  And this holds true for your mind too.  You don’t have to the perfect meditator, perfect parent, perfect yogi, or perfect anything.  The whole list in this article, in fact, is about living a good life, but sometimes we need to have some vices or most importantly give ourselves a break in order to meet the best balance!

Ommm

© r.e.l. 10/4/10

[If you liked this article, I suggest “a stressfree life“]