like the smoky light that passes by
inside me
my stomach, on edge
my senses, fluttering

as i hang thoughts
of us
on the baffling air
that defines our devotion

the time approaches
as we’ve planned
…and then i hear a voice inside speaking softly
but i’m not perfect enough yet. not today. one more day.

yet waiting, unfathomable

but, i know you
and all the reasons
as lessons
for them
for you
for me

so that in the end i
could have you

and still, i can’t help but get tangled up in the world of wondering why you aren’t here right now.

© r.e.l. 4/14/13

image source: mary mary