a story to tell
…tell me yours
……you wonder though when to surrender
………i see you hide behind
…………the way you are
……………just around the bend, you whisper
………………i’ll fly to you
© r.e.l. 1/19/11
Image “. . .” by mimi yoon
Posted for Poetry Potluck week 19 (rules, regulations, laws) on Jingle Poetry
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This is a really beautiful piece. I liked your layout as well.
thanks… i give the painting the credit 🙂
Excellent. I love the last line and the painting is captured so well.
me too on the painting… it truly changed my thinking brain into my artistic brain and then the words came from there… it truly tells a story (but different to each who views it, i’m sure). this is mine 🙂
fabulous poem. very beautifully crafted.
thank you… just playing around with a different creative look. i like how it turned out 🙂
Really loved the form, and the image you’ve created with your words here…
Surrender does come hard though.. no?
it does.. it so enticing to want to hold on to what we love and think we need.. to a point where it smothers us. surrendering is much better 🙂
I like the format, and i could almost hear you whispering this one
i was 😉
Interesting layout! Like your writing Robin!
thanks… something different…. it’s interesting how the different placement of words on a page change the vibe of it
what a fun read.
lovely word play.
A++
😉
Whispered words bring their own truths. Soft surrendering as you fly. Beautiful.
it’s easier for people to whisper when they are vulnerable 😉
Well done Potluck contribution. Like the layout and do believe it adds to the poem. The artwork is inspirational. Fine choice.
i agree.. i was playing around with different layout with words.. (getting bored with the usual). it speaks a different tone when the words are displayed as a staircase going downward.
Both poems and images are breathtaking.
thank you.. the artists get credit for the images (and redbubble) but they certainly inspired me 🙂 thanks for your words…
and the story was told. beautiful 🙂
yes, just around the bend… 😉
“I see you hide behind…the way you are”
What a mind-expanding line!
hidden in vulnerability… waiting for safety.
simply wonderful..
i have added you to my blogroll as well….
keep writing…
thank you, glad you enjoy my writing… as the words flow out, you’ll get more now 🙂
lovely image and beautiful poem..I fly with you
flying is such a powerful metaphor…
yes, i love the painting. it inspired the words
Robin,
This is layered with so much meaning. Great work.
JP
http://tasithoughts.wordpress.com/2011/01/24/no-rings/
yes, i always try to write with layers of meaning. glad you noticed 🙂
Nice potluck dish, Robin! I really liked the part, “i see you hide behind… the way you are” – you see more than they’re showing.
yes, i see what others don’t let themselves see 😉 nice catch…
Wow, a very soul-stirring poem, and the picture suits it perfectly. Thank you.
the best kind: soul-stirring 😉
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