words

different forms, as treasures

/ my secret innuendo / 33 Comments

you ask me to be still
and so i do..
you lie hidden within, unfelt
with a shield strong as stone
pushing you away.
in all directions.

don’t you hear the answers now?
as they quietly become one with the search
for what is touching you?
you are beautiful
everything is alive
in different forms
as treasures.

watch time stand still with me. ok?
help me to let go and to become one with the mystery.
please.

© r.e.l. 11/26/10

image  by my secret innuendo™ of marin county

Published (partial) on Micropoetry 3/3/14

Submitted to caesura 2/5/14

Posted for Thursday Poets Rally Week 34 (12/2-12/8/10) on Promising Poets. Received the Perfect Poet Award…. Thanks so much, I accept 🙂  [For week 35 I nominate Jargnar]

please let me continue

/ my secret innuendo / 10 Comments

don’t get me wrong
please don’t
but your energy scares me…
in a way that finding something lost does, long forgotten
it wants me to see
that maybe
somehow
you are the person i have been searching for
although a mirror to see myself
in the same moment…

but isn’t it true
that we all search for the person
who can allow us
to get closer to ourselves?

you seem anxious about the words
you use
as if they make a difference
as if you don’t know that it’s the energy
behind them
that decides.

i observe you silently
and i know you
please let me continue

© r.e.l. 11/12/10

Posted for Poetry Potluck week 18 (1/16-1/22/11) Languages, Signs and Symbols on Jingle Poetry

 

i wrote this for you

/ my secret innuendo / Leave a comment

I read this just now on a random blog and it touched me so:

i need you to understand something.
i wrote this for you.
i wrote this for you and only you.
everyone else who reads it, doesn’t get it.
they may think they get it, but they don’t.
this is the sign you’ve been looking for.
you were meant to read these words.
~anonymous author of I Wrote This For You~

It’s amazing to me that something as anonymous and vague can be so touching.  It speaks to my heart that writes to another, and sometimes goes unread.  Even if the reason is more heartfelt than ever.  How precious words are… that they can create the virtual person you love, that vanishes with a poof when reaching out to touch the imaginary ghost, which can leave you heartbroken.  How vulnerable words can be too, to be left hanging.

 

is this me? moving toward, moving away…

/ my secret innuendo / 2 Comments

So what does wholeness look like to me? I thought this summary I played with recently was a wonderful way to describe my view on this subject.  For it is when I am depicting all of these words at once, as taken from my personal blog I write here (generated by a tool called Wordle), that I feel most whole.

I can get a cue as to what I avoid in life, in my search for wholeness, if I watch what it is I try to withhold to others in my conversations. These are my truths which I run from and hide even from myself, as I lack confidence to orate them. The fear is controlled by my unconscious.  These are the inner truths that point to my fear of being who I truly am, as Neil Legault quotes:

Catch yourself trying to avoid telling someone your truth about yourself and you will see how you hide yourself from life.  This is the pointer that shows you your fear of being who you truly are.

I seek to bring myself into wholeness by merging my mind with my spiritual beliefs.  The two act aside each other naturally, and when the dark clouds come, I have to work diligently in meditation to remember the sun is always shining above it — something greater than me.

© r.e.l. 10/10/10

 

words or sand?

/ my secret innuendo / 3 Comments

What has the internet done to our communications when love or friendships are involved?  When the internet is so easily accessible, it becomes the first mode of communication where words take on the greatest of meaning.  Do we become lost and literally zapped by the electromagnetic waves of the computer, losing touch with all other sources of reality that generate powerful feelings and connections in the first place?

To step aside from the exchange of words opens the mind to an extraordinary place where the conduit between two beings is instead in the stars and the cosmos.  This reality  brings a completely new aspect to a relationship that would not exist were it to simply revolve around communication via words.

Taking comfort in this unknown…

Love especially requires trust, touch, belief and full presence.  How easy is it, when the other is not by our side, to replace needs that love craves with intimacies only found in words?  Isn’t this a trap that has the potential to create craziness as the most tender and vulnerable moments arise and require immediacy?

What happened to the days of waiting months for a hand-written letter to arrive by horseback, with love in your heart?

Think about how hungry you can become for every word from a loved one, and how you desire complete dedication from this person.  You may want to see it all summarized, maybe on your computer screen, so that your heart is complete!  But is this possible?  Isn’t it the energy emanating from the warm body that you desire, not words emanating from tin?  Yet, with this accessibility, maybe you will live as if it is completely possible to be fulfilled in this manner and pursue it!

However, there is much to be said without words… that which can be most easily transmitted with silence and/or eye contact.  While sitting right next to another person, eye to eye, we can feel reactions, reasons for hesitance and see the beauty in taking the time to say what is true in the moment (or transmit it in silence).

We can confirm what is true with words, but if we learn to put them aside and focus more on the unspoken, we can read a more powerful sentence… the energy of the universe.

To imagine a world consisting of sand and stars and people being those stars and connecting on that level is true unity…

© r.e.l. 9/21/10

my flame

/ my secret innuendo / Leave a comment

flames
have a mind of their own
as they
silently listen
call to you
speak your name
invite you to gaze
into their
burn that
knows your secrets

i am listening now
and i set you on fire
to the beat of your glow
you wish for me
i am here
now blow out your candle
and feel what i say

© r.e.l. 8/4/10

a whispering of words to your soul

/ my secret innuendo / 1 Comment

As yoga speaks the poetry of your body, words speak the poetry of your soul. Yoga and words go well together.  Remember that any type of activity can also be a way of living your yoga.

No doubt you are no stranger to a community of poets and those who like to verbally relay their words to others.  Many have a vibrant and active lifestyle to go along with this love of words, don’t they!  The two seem to go together well…

Like the wind off a clear blue lake blows its answers to the mountains, take time to whisper the secrets to your heart, listening to every touch with your sacred ears. Sit and listen as the words write themselves onto the page. There are no mistakes here. It is all a rendition of your truth that you write down to share, so that you can touch… something other than the normal, regular you.

As you move the prana (i.e., your life force) in your body, working through the chakras and experience your purpose in the moment, your desires, your energy and your heart, you will most likely find the words of your soul whispering to you gently.

As you continue moving, whether it be in a yoga practice, a hike, or some other means of moving your body, you eventually can surrender to this energy you’ve activated as it clears out all that gets in the way of knowing your true intuitions and spirit connection. This will probably happen whether you are paying attention or not.  In fact, there is no will required for this endeavor.  Just be who you are.

If you’re really in tune with the feelings moving through you, you can see, hear, sense and know through your watchfulness that it is possible that you actually really know who you are.

Yes, it’s true.  So, don’t refuse to whisper these words. You will undoubtedly touch someone, even unsuspectingly, if not a very important person: you. Even if you only reach one person, besides yourself, this journey through words is all worth it.

And if you find that no words come to you, then receive the gift of the inability to find words. 🙂

Namaste.

© r.e.l. 8/2/10

receive your gift

/ my secret innuendo / 1 Comment

We go to yoga class. We start the class by making an intention. Then what?

Do we hold true to its energy every second of the class? No. We tuck it away in our heart and let it speak its own words to our soul.

For, the energy of a wish comes from within us and can hardly hide its wings when we are moving the prana as we move our bodies in twists and waves.

What we feel comes from within. Before the words even articulate themselves to our being, we know what it is we are trying to say.

Sometimes we are silenced. Sometimes this is a blessing. In this inability to find words, our soul is telling us to go deeper. Look into the still pond of your being. Do not always rely on words. Look to the swirling space that doesn’t want to hear your words and give it your thanks.

There is more to living.

Namaste.

© r.e.l. 6/29/10

unspoken

/ my secret innuendo / 56 Comments

unspoken words
speak above
emptying your soul
to me
but i know your secrets
i’m in you

the missing stone on your path
find me at the edge
near the bridge i see you on now
in the cold

you see me waiting
with your words
don’t ever change who you are

© r.e.l. 6/25/10

Featured in All Things Poetic, Artistic, Philosophical on redbubble

**This post is for Thursday Poets Rally Week 35 (12/16-12/22/10) on Promising Poets.  Received The Most Influential Poet Award. thank you 🙂

Winner of The Celebrate Poet of 2010 Award (with Promising Poets  and Jingle Poetry)

Posted (partial) on Micropoetry 8/8/14 for #empty theme

what i said is not what i mean

/ my secret innuendo / 4 Comments
I recently saw a quote from an online motivational writer which sparks my interest:

“I know you think you understand what I said, but what you don’t understand is what I said is not what I mean.”

At the same moment, I also saw this picture online, captured under the category of bridges over troubled water.

For some reason I feel the two have relation in what I’m trying to say to myself in this moment.

This bridge encapsulates a journey into the unknown somehow.  To walk out onto this bridge into the fog along a treacherous cliff along old cobblestone seems precarious to say the least.

Yet, it draws me in.  If I were faced with this bridge in this moment, I would surely put one step in front of the other and venture out onto it.

It metaphorically speaks to the wish to know more about the unknown, what I actually feel, and what loved ones actually mean behind their words.  We can find it difficult to put our thoughts together into words sometimes.  It is in this difficulty that our unsure words simply open up more questions and more uncertainty, as if the attempt to communicate with another takes the lid off of their secret bottle where they live.

It is true within our own selves as well.  In a strange way I feel that the way to find out the true meaning of what I am trying to say right now to myself can best be found by walking across this bridge in the mist.  If I sit out on that point, I think I will find the answer.

© r.e.l. 6/25/10

follow the mist

/ my secret innuendo / 1 Comment

I am ever-changing.  In this moment I seem to be in the middle of a silent breath between states.

I appreciate many forms of life: people, viewpoints, spirituality, yoga, words.  I notice that it is common for people to tag a style of being in the world, which then closes them off to other inspirations that could come spontaneously, from afar, from within, or sometimes right in front of their own face.

There is a misty quality to knowing you are on the right path, regardless of the unknown.

I follow the mist……..

There are as many ways to grow and evolve as to be uncountable.  We all have our own way, and to follow another’s way is to not fully engage with your own inner guidance.  I am influenced by many modes of thought but always, in the end, I follow my own truth.

listen my love,
illumination is eternal.
now is always evolving.
as there are billions of stars,
there are billions of steps.
as there are billions of souls,
there are billions of ways to grow.
~Rumi~

In fact, my yoga practice has taught me this as well.  With my many experiences with yoga styles and traditions, in the end I most enjoy the vinyasa flow style which allows me to organically lead myself to where I’m headed in that moment.  This leads me to my own way of growing.

I listen to my body as I would music, as I move and unlock the secret messages hidden within the spaces of my being.

I am listening now.  It whispers to me that the answer is to keep listening.

© r.e.l. 6/19/10

words

/ my secret innuendo / 16 Comments

moving too fast
leads to doubt
allowing no feeling
digesting
loving
all that you are
along the way

even if eyes on your words
can be a form of touch
you long for
you are precious
and grow
like a little seed in its bud
into a flower

be patient
all in good time…

© r.e.l. 5/28/10

inspired by my daughter

photo by Lori Tuttle

posted for Poetry Potluck 4/17-4/23/11 on Jingle Poetry

i am

/ my secret innuendo / 2 Comments

i am an ocean
of words
you a chaser of silence…
and i am yours now

like a team
we balance
not pushing the river
that flows by itself
in the mirrors of us
what we seek
to diminish
to crave
we are
somehow
within the roots
that bind us
after the words
nothing changes
yet everything does

© r.e.l. 4/28/10